


If I Had Known

by Kiki9627



Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Bandits & Outlaws, Dark Past, F/F, Loyalty, Lydia-centric, Skooma, Vampires
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-24
Updated: 2018-06-26
Packaged: 2018-08-17 00:10:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 25
Words: 30,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8123002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiki9627/pseuds/Kiki9627
Summary: !SPOILERS! Spoilers every where!
They say that the Dragonborn has the soul of a dragon and the body of a mortal. They say that the Dragonborn has countless power and a destiny filled with greatness and bloodshed. What they don’t say is that the Dragonborn had no choice in the matter or that all she wanted was a simple life.
As told by Lydia.
Rated for violence and language.





	1. The Dragonborn

**Author's Note:**

> So warning you now, I use A LOT of mods. I mean A LOT! If I mention a mod during the chapter, I'll be sure to add it to the end notes.
> 
> Also, this is not my first fanfiction. I don't want to talk about my first one. But this is my first time publishing on here. Feel free to comment or leave criticism (preferably constructive).
> 
> This entire work will be in Lydia's point of view, the first few chapters are pretty "meh" but they're more of those "OK guys, this is how we're starting this thing" kind of chapters. It gets better! I promise!
> 
> One last thing, this does contain all kinds of spoilers for the DLCs (I have all of them), some mods that contain quest, and the main story line. So in short, if you don't want it ruined for you, turn back now!

They say that the Dragonborn has the soul of a dragon and the body of a mortal. They say that the Dragonborn has countless power and a destiny filled with greatness and bloodshed. What they don’t say is that the Dragonborn had no choice in the matter or that all she wanted was a simple life.

***

“Lydia!” the Jarl called for me while he sat on his thrown.

“Yes my Lord?” I came rushing to his side.

“A woman just arrived, who claims to come from Helgan,” he tells me, “She survived the dragon attack. She’s gone with Irileth to fight another that’s attacking a watchtower. She arrived with the Dragon Stone and has already made an impression on the people.”

I listened intently to every word. Whoever this woman is, she sure does get around.

“If she comes back alive,” he began again, “I’m naming her a Thane. I want you to be her housecarl.”

From the sounds of it, such an honor would be almost required for all her efforts.

“It would be my pleasure, my Jarl,” I bowed slightly.

***

“You heard the summons. What else could it mean? The Greybeards…” I could hear the Jarl talk to Hrongar about the loud booming that had recently occurred. Their conversation was ending just as a stranger walked through the doors.

I watched her walk through the hall as if she were on top of the world, dressed in Imperial armor and iron boots with an ancient looking bow.

“So what happened at the watchtower? Was the dragon there?” I could hear the Jarl ask the woman, waiting in anticipation.

“The watchtower was destroyed,” she informed him solemnly, “But we killed the dragon.”

“I knew I could count on Irileth,” I could hear the smile on his face before his tone turned sour, “But there must be more to it than that.”

“Turns out I may be something called ‘Dragonborn’,” I could imagine her shrugging at the information, as if it meant nothing to her.

“Dragonborn?” the Jarl questioned, sounding almost offended by the idea of this stranger, who just barely escaped execution, could be a hero of legend, “What do you know about Dragonborn?”

“When the dragon died, I absorbed some kind of power from it,” she explained, sounding more confused than I felt.

“So it’s true,” I could just barely hear the Jarl sigh, “The Greybeards really were summoning you.”

“Who are the Greybeards?” she asked.

“Masters of the Way of the Voice,” he explained, “They live in seclusion high on the slopes of the Throat of the World.”

“What would they want with me?” she asked, still sounding confused.

“The Dragonborn is said to be uniquely gifted in the Voice,” he began again, “The ability to focus your vital essence into a Thu’um, or Shout. If you really are Dragonborn, they can teach you how to use your gift.”

“Didn’t you hear the thundering sound as you returned?” Hrongar sounded appalled.

Before too long, Hrongar and Proventus were at each other’s throats again, leaving the Jarl to calm them down.

“You’ve done a great service for me and my city, Dragonborn. By my right as Jarl, I name you Thane of Whiterun. It’s the greatest honor that’s within my power to grant. I assign you Lydia as a personal Housecarl, and this weapon from my armory to serve as your badge of office. I’ll also notify my guards of your new title. Wouldn’t want them to think you’re part of the common rabble, now would we? We are honored to have you as Thane of our city, Dragonborn.”

Silence followed before I heard soft footsteps come my way, noting me of my time to stand and greet my new Thane.

“The Jarl has appointed me to be your Housecarl,” I laid my hand on my heart and bowed, “It’s an honor to serve you.”

I looked up at her and saw the smile of a child. I hadn’t gotten a chance to see her face before. Now that I could, I instantly realized that my Thane was a pale Bosmor with red war paint marked across her narrow face. But aside from the blood splatters across her armor and sweat drench hair, she was young, even by Nord standards. How could this near-child be a legendary hero?

“Follow me,” her smile only grew, “I need your help.”

“Lead the way,” I smiled back nervously.

I didn’t know at that time that I would come to cherish her telling me to follow. I didn’t know that I would come to cherish her.


	2. Her Business

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everybody for the feedback and kudos! I really wasn't expecting that much traffic!
> 
> For now I plan to upload on Fridays or Saturdays so this will be updated weekly.
> 
> We're still in the awkward, formalities phase right now. It gets much better around chapter 4 I think.
> 
> Also! When Lydia is saying that the Dragonborn looks like a child, it's because she's about the equivalent of a 16/17-year-old while I think of Lydia in her late 20's or early 30's, not old but by looks there's an obvious difference. But I do plan on going further into detail on that but right now it would be awkward in the story to just shove it in. But at the same time, I didn't want the reader to be left wondering how old she looks.
> 
> Anyways, I'll let you read now! Thank you again!

“First order of business,” she smiled wildly as she marched down the stairs from Dragonsreach, “I need to seek out the Companions and join their ranks.”

“Oh,” she took me by surprise, “Of course my Thane.”

How could she know about them? From what I was told, she had only spent a half a day here before the watchtower had been attacked.

“Second order of business will be to get to know each other,” she turned her head to look back at me and grin with a small chuckle.

When we walked into their housing, a brawl was taking place and we watched for a short time but only because she wanted to speak to the people around the fighting, to find out where Kodlak Whitemane was.

The old man seemed to take an instant liking to her and nearly greeted her into the companions with open arms, but she had to prove herself to them. Her brawl went quick and she happily accepted the bed they offered.

“Will my Housecarl be able to bunk here as well?” she asked one of the women in the room.

“Only if she bunks with you,” one of them huffed.

“Fine with me,” the Thane shrugged before pressing herself against the wall and taking up as little space as possible, “Lay down, Lydia.”

She looked up at me so innocently, like sharing her bed was the most natural option there could ever be.

She fell asleep quickly and continued to sleep soundly till morning.

“Is she already asleep?” one of the women asked, eyeing her.

“I guess so,” I hummed. Where all had she been before this? She nestled into the blanket as if she hadn’t been this comfortable in centuries. I listened attentively as her breathing continued in an almost rhythmic pattern, not snoring but breathing softly.

What all have those bright eyes seen?

***

“Wake up,” I could hear a voice saying as the person shook my arm.

“Wha-” I tried to form words but my mind was still clouded with sleep.

“It’s time to get moving,” the voice whispered, which I now recognized as my Thane, “I heard there were bandits nearby and I wanted to take them out before someone else does.”

I looked around myself to see all the beds filled with sleeping Companions and the room filled with darkness. We moved quietly, so as not to disturb anyone and walked into the cold morning air.

Of course, you could only call it that if you used the term ‘morning’ loosely. The sun was far from rising and the whole keep was asleep except for the night guards and the two of us.

“May I ask why we’re leaving so early?” I asked quietly.

She only shrugged as she walked on the small ledge of the sidewalk, balancing through the streets.

When we arrived at the hold, she was silent as a mouse, striking the bandits one at a time, drawing them out to die. By time we finished off those on the outside, she had pilled so many things into her pack that it was practically overflowing.

“This pack is super heavy,” she huffed as she struggled to lift it onto her shoulders.

“Why don’t you let me carry some of your things?” I offered, “I’d be happy to help.”

“That sounds like a great idea,” she smiled at me.

When we finally exited the camp, the sun was up and our packs were full, nearly crushing us under their weight.

“My Thane?” I called from the other side of the road.

“Hmm?” she hummed back.

“My I ask your name?”

“Huh?” she looked over at me in surprise, “I never told you my name?”

I shook my head while smiling.

“Saphira,” she told me as we continued to walk.

What a pretty name, I thought to myself as I watched her use a transmute spell to turn her newly mined iron ore into gold and silver.

What a pretty elf.

***

“Farkas and I are going to retrieve a fragment of an axe or sword or something like that,” she told me as she handed items over to clerks to sell.

I hadn’t even spent a whole 24 hours with her and she was already abandoning my company.

“Okay,” I tried to smile, “I’ll be in Dragonsreach if you need me.”

I started to walk away from the stall, trying my hardest to keep my head held high. I don’t even understand what’s come over me. Why is my chest aching when I’ve only known the girl for a day? And it’s not as if she had shown a high liking of Farkas. Surely she’ll come back to my side.

But what if she doesn’t? What if she’s harmed during our separation? It would be my fault.

“I’ll come get you as soon as I get back!” she shouted after me, causing me to run around from the steps that I had started to climb.

I could see her smiling up at me from the stall and butterflies danced around her.

I think that’s when she stole my heart, dressed in Imperial armor that didn’t match her gauntlets, weapons or boots with that not-so-innocent-innocent smile.

“As you wish my Thane,” I smiled back before I continued walking away, my heart fluttering like the wings of the monarchs around her.

What a pretty elf my Thane is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo? What do ya think?
> 
> Comments are always appreciated and kudos make my heart flutter (like I'm being serious, when I saw those I felt like my heart was going to just fly out of my chest!)


	3. Long Travels

 

It was late in the afternoon when she came back, sopping wet from the rain that had been pouring since morning.

“Honor to you, my Thane,” I greeted with a smile before noticing the cold, tired look on her face and the change of clothes. Now she was dressed in Elven armor like a Thalmor Justiciar.

“Follow me,” she smiled back finally, “I need your help.”

“Lead the way,” I breathed a sigh of relief I hadn’t realized I’d been holding.

***

“This weather is awful,” she groaned as she looked up at the sky, “Do you think there’s some kind of Shout-thingy that can make the rain go away?”

“There may be,” I smiled as water dripped from her red hair and pointed ears. She was pale, even for a wood elf, but her complexion seemed to suit her, and her nose looked almost Nordic.

“At least we’re heading towards the inn,” she sighed as she continued to plop down the stairs of Dragonsreach keep.

“The inn?” I questioned, “Were you not able to find the fragment?”

“Oh we found it,” she half smiled, “And about 20 draugr jumped us as soon as I picked up the stupid thing. But we’re not heading towards the inn for a room. There’s a bard that’s been bothering the food stand woman, Carlotta. We’re going to talk to him.”

“I see,” I nodded, “Is that what has you in a foul mood? The ambush?”

“Hmm?” she turned her head to me and hummed, her lips pursed, “No. I’ll tell you later.”

When she first spoke to the bard, Mikael, he mocked her by saying she sounded jealous. After that, they brawled. I’d never seen her throw a punch before but it was amazing and filled with power. It would seem, she knows a thing or two about beating a man to death.

She nearly knocked him out, but stopped the beating as soon as he swore on his honor to leave Carlotta alone.

“Men,” she huffed as she sat down, “They’re all such pigs. I never understood the appeal of them. Furthermore, I hope I never do.”

I tried to conceal the chuckle that bubbled in my throat but my covering it only seemed to highlight it more.

“Is there anything I could get for you?” a Redguard woman ran up to the table and asked, seeming weary of the inn keeper.

Saphira looked her up and down before heaving a small sigh.

“There were two men,” she started, carefully watching the woman, “Said they were Alik’r, and they were looking for a Redguard woman.”

The woman’s face turned pale as she looked around herself.

“They found me?” she asked in a hushed voice, “May I speak to you in private?”

“Sure,” Saphira shrugged before heaving herself up and following the woman through the inn and up to her room.

She claimed to be a royal that spoke out publicly, she wanted the Thane to eliminate them all to ensure her safety. Even though she agreed to it, something was off about her compliance.

“We need to go to Rorikstead to tell the men where she is,” she told me as soon as we left the inn.

“But she asked for your help,” I tilted my head a little at her.

“If she were a royal that only spoke out,” she huffed as we entered the housing for the Companions, “Don’t you think her family and guards would be protecting her? She’s more than likely a traitor.”

Just as before, she pressed herself to one side of the bed, falling asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. And of course the sun didn’t rise until after we were on the road for a few hours.

“How far is Rorikstead?” she asked me as we walked straight through the plains.

“Well I could tell you the time for if you stuck to the road but considering the fact that I don’t even know where the road went, that information would be useless, my Thane,” I huffed.

“Good point,” she nodded.

“So what had you in such a bad mood yesterday?” I asked, watching her jump down a small ledge, onto solid ground, “And why are we not taking the road?”

“Yesterday,” she sighed, “I was on my way back with Farkas and we ran into a few Thalmor Justiciars. Long story short, while two of them continued to walk away, one decided I should die a ‘traitor’s death’.”

“Why would they say that?”

“I might have told her I have the right to worship whom I please,” she shrugged.

She killed her. But she doesn’t seem too happy about that. Maybe she didn’t want to have to fight her.

Four hours passed on our walk and when we finally got there, she decided she wanted to talk to all the locals and help them plow the field. Two more hours passed before she went to the tavern. While we were there, she convinced a man’s father that he should allow his son to explore if he wishes; she even gave the man 1200 gold to buy his son armor.

It took all of half an hour for her to do what she actually came here to do and was sent right on back to Whiterun to lure out the Redguard woman, which she happily complied to.

***

While we were still in Whiterun, she helped the Grey-manes find proof that one of their sons were being held captive. Afterwards, she considered buying a house.

“I have a little over 6000 gold,” she hummed to herself, “I would have a little bit left over for our travels but I don’t know what I would do with a house in the first place. I already have a place to sleep and I sell everything except what I need.”

“What about those rags you call cloths?” I asked, she had kept the cloths she had been in for the execution, “You could put them in a safe place.”

“Maybe,” she leaned back on a post and looked up at the night sky, “I want to travel so much that I forget I have a home.”

When she said that, I didn’t understand what all she meant but I assumed I did and I didn’t ask for clarification. I don’t think she would have told me then anyways.


	4. Jarls and Thanes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So my internet has what I call "Dramaqueenis", which basically means I don't always have access to the world wide web. Incase you were wondering what too so long for this week's update.
> 
> Also, it's chapter 5 that I start to like what I'm doing here. So I'm pretty excited for that!

“After we kill this wolf for Alea, we should travel to Solitude,” Saphira told me as we walked towards Riverwood.

“Why is that?” I asked, looking over at the mountain where the Greybeards were located.

“I have a few things I need to take care of in the far northeast,” she started to explain, “Plus, I hear Solitude is a great place. From what I’ve been told, it sounds like the best place to raise a family.”

***

We made it to Morthal before she became distracted with locals again.

“Did you see that house?” she asked, looking back over her shoulder as we continued walking down the street.

“The one that was burned down?” I wonder what happened.

“Yeah,” she nodded as we came up to a crowd surrounding Highmoon Hall.

The villagers seemed angry about a wizard and the Jarl’s lack of a response. Though, we weren’t given time to question the mob as a man ran up, huffing and puffing just slightly.

“I’ve been looking for you,” the courier explained, “Got something I’m supposed to deliver-your hands only. Let’s see here… Ah, a letter from the Jarl! Moving up in the world, eh?”

“What’s it say?” I asked as she read the letter. She turned to me, holding the letter up to her face just below her eyes, furrowing her brows.

“Secret stuff,” she nearly giggled, the corners of her eyes creasing as she smiled behind the paper, “Top secret, hushed things that would make people stronger than I shudder!”

“Really now?” I smirked. She laughed some more before lowering the letter from her face and showing it to me.

“An offer to be Thane!” I gasped, “That’s amazing! Your reputation must be all over Skyrim!”

“I don’t know how,” she shrugged, “I didn’t do all that much.”

“But you are the Dragonborn,” I smiled at her, “I’m sure that’s gotten around.”

***

Vampires. A whole swarm of them.

“Good thing we got here when we did,” she sighed when we finally got out, “Imagine if they had taken the whole town!”

“That would have been bad,” I nodded as we walked back to town.

She stretched her arms long above her head before crossing them behind her head.

“You know something?” she asked.

“What is it, my Thane?” I asked.

“I’m glad you’re with me,” she smiled at me.

I nodded furiously as I tried to keep the heat off my face. How can she be so blunt and straight forward? How can she just say things and it not even faze her for a second?

“I also enjoy our travels, Thane!” I tried not to shout in my hysteria.

When we made it back to town, she assisted the people of the hold before being named Thane and meeting a man named Valdimar, a housecarl assigned to her.

I was afraid that she would part ways with me, take this new man as her partner and send me on my way.

“Nice to meet you,” she smiled at the Nord, “But as you can see, I already have Lydia here. Although I don’t need you at my side, could you do something for me?”

“Fine, what?” he asked, cocking his head to the side.

“Keep the people here safe for me,” she told him, “I may be Thane but I won’t be here very often so I won’t be able to keep my eyes on everybody. Could you do that for me?”

“It would be my honor, my Thane,” he bowed slightly to her.

***

“Is that Solitude?” she asked, covering her eyes from the sun and looking out at the Blue Palace.

“I believe so,” I smiled, after all this traveling, we’re finally going to make it.

As usual, when we arrived, she made a clear goal of meeting each and every person in town.

First it was a crowd of people witnessing an execution, then the bards at the college, next the Jarl and lastly the court wizard, with whom she flirted.

“I like her,” she smiled wildly as we walked towards a tavern.

Liked her? She was snarky and cold. _That’s_ what interests her?

***

“Have you been to Whiterun?” Angeline, the elderly shopkeeper asked while Saphira pulled potions to sell out of her bag.

“I have,” she smiled at her.

“Have you met my daughter?” she asked nervously, “She was assigned to Whiterun after she joined the Imperial army and I haven’t heard from her recently. And the captain isn’t being any help.”

“I’m sorry,” she frowned sadly, “I haven’t met her. But I could talk to Captain Aldis for you.”

“That would be wonderful,” she smiled gratefully.

***

“Her daughter was sent to Whiterun,” the captain began solemnly, “The skirmishes there have been violent. The Whiterun legate, he needed to know the Stormcloak positions.”

She nodded as he spoke, her head bowed.

“She needs to be told,” he agreed in a hushed tone.

“I’ll tell her,” she looked drained.

Delivering bad news wasn’t something she seemed fond of. As much as she seemed to enjoy watching bandits flee from her arrows, she just as much hated to see innocents in pain.

***

“I told her,” Angeline started to cry, “She just wouldn’t hear it.”

After rubbing the old woman’s back for a minute and offering her condolences, Saphira began walking to the door.

“Thank you,” Angeline sniffled, “I hope your parents are proud of you. They have a lot of reason to be.”

I caught a glimpse of Saphira’s face as she walked out the door; terror.

If I had known what I know now, I would have pulled her into a hug right that second; I would have told her that Angeline meant no harm with the comment. How was I to know she needed counseling? How were we to know that Saphira needed to hear those words more than anything?


	5. Her Shield

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So like the horrible person I am, I added another task to my always growing 'to-do' list. Now I'm also working on an SNK fanfic about Eren and Levi, feel free to check it out.
> 
> That doesn't mean post are changing! It just means I might fall behind in the future. But I do have a few chapters ready to finalize and post so I'm good right now.
> 
> I plan on uploading again tomorrow night as an "I'm sorry I did the thing". Plus, this is where the story starts to pick up and that makes me excited!

 

That night, we didn’t even rest. We started walking through the mountains to eliminate bandits and beasts.

After clearing out several locations, I thought I had learned her strategy. Shoot a few arrows, once you’re discovered move on in to clear out the rest.

I was wrong. At Fort Hraggstad, I jumped out too soon.

They rushed around me since they apparently didn’t see I was with someone.

My whole body hurt, I was sure I was going to die. The axe was swinging right for me. But she blocked it. But not with a shield, she was using her bow, it could have broken. She put herself in front of me and kept their arrows and blades away.

“My Thane!” I was horrified.

I’m her sword and her shield.

It is my duty to guard her and all she owns with my life.

“Find somewhere to hide!” she choked out as she used an arrow like a dagger and her bow as a shield.

I clutched at my wounds to stop the bleeding while I crawled away, obeying orders.

I watched from behind a large boulder as she ran into the fort, sword in hand now while she blasted away at them with her fire magic.

How could I have let this happen? She shouldn’t have saved me. She should have let me shied her. She has plenty of friends that would leap to her side and another housecarl that would die for her as well.

As soon as I got some of my strength back, I pulled myself up and pulled my sword out.

I will be her sword and shield; I will protect her with my life.

She was fighting like a whole new person; it was as if the battle had truly become personal.

All the enemies were too far for me to strike with my sword so I quickly pulled out my bow and started firing. I didn’t hit my mark near as often as Saphira did but at least their arrows were focused on me instead of her.

One of their archers managed to hit me right where a previous wound was located, reawakening the pain.

“My Thane!” they’re too strong, “You must retreat!”

They’ll kill her.

***

“Lydia!” I could hear my Thane calling my name through the darkness, “Come on! Open your eyes!”

Slowly, I gathered the strength to obey her orders.

When I did, the moon was shining just past her head, casting a beautiful glow on her hair.

“Thank the gods!” she smiled tearfully at me.

I could feel myself being pulled into a hug but only because the pain was so intense all over my limbs. I gasped a little at the pain, instantly getting a reaction from her as she released the hug.

“What happened?” I asked while she looked at me with her big, guilt filled eyes.

“You passed out,” she told me in a hushed tone, “I thought they killed you.”

I looked around to see that we were still at the fort, within the walls. Though, bodies littered the ground rather than guarding the fortress.

“Take this,” she demanded as she shoved a healing potion in my hand.

I drank the potion silently, instantly feeling my wounds close and the pain ease. Even after the pain eased, she healed what the potion didn’t with her own magic.

“I didn’t know you knew magic,” I gasped as I was finally able to sit up, “I assumed you only knew how to fight with a bow.”

“I learned a few things over the years,” she shrugged, breathing heavily from the exertion. Once she caught her breath, she was smiling wickedly at me, “Let’s finish these dirt bags off.”

***

“My Thane?” I asked as we walked toward another cave.

“Yes?” she smiled at me happily.

“I’m sure you have your reasons for not going immediately,” I started, “But when do you plan to see the Greybeards?”

She looked over at the mountain they’re located at, far off in the distance.

“Well the Jarl said something about a two-thousand step journey,” she huffed, “And judging by that mountain, there’re stairs. I really hate stairs.”

I stopped dead in my tracks.

“You’re not going to them,” I huffed angrily, “Because you don’t like stairs? Don’t you realize how childish that is? These are the Greybeards we’re talking about! They called for you! You have to go so you can fulfill your destiny!”

“I am no child, Nord,” she snarled, I involuntarily flinched at the harsh sharpness of the words, “You may look older but I _am_ your elder by many years.”

“My Thane,” I breathed quickly, trying to regain my stance.

“And what is that destiny?” she turned back to look at me, raising a brow and huffing a short sarcastic laugh, “Die from a dragon?”

“No!” I nearly yelled, “You must slay the World Eater!”

“The World Eater?” she repeated harshly, “You think I’m the kind of person to fight somebody like that? Whoever that guy is, I don’t think I’m the woman for the job.”

“It’s not some guy!” How can she be so oblivious? “It’s Alduin, the king of dragons! As the Dragonborn, you have to slay him!”

“A dragon?” she looked at me like I was crazy, “Called ‘the World Eater’? You think I can take on that?”

“Of course!” I tried to smile my reassurance, “You’ve already slain one dragon.”

“No I haven’t!” she yelled back, looking very disturbed.

“What do you mean you haven’t?” I asked, “What about the dragon that was heading for Whiterun?”

I watched her shake, avoiding eye contact and trying to walk away. Dashing to her side, and passing her slightly, I forced her to stop and speak to me.

“My Thane,” I breathed through clenched teeth, “What do you mean?”


	6. Dragons and Trolls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, a second chapter for the week!
> 
> I hope you all continue to enjoy!

She was very quiet for a long time, staring at the ground, clenching her fist open and closed.

“My Thane, what do you mean you haven’t slayed a dragon?” I asked again.

“In Helgan,” she started to explain, “I ran and I hid. I escaped, I didn’t fight. I didn’t even attempt to land a single blow. In Whiterun, I coward in the tower, hoping the beast would get bored and leave us alive. I just so happened to gain enough courage to shot the final arrow that was needed.”

“But you and Irileth,” I started, horrified, “You said that you killed it.”

“I said ‘we’,” she corrected me sharply, turning on her heels and sitting down on a nearby rock, “While in the tower I did make sure those around me were healed before they ran back out there but I only landed one blow. The stupid thing wasn’t even flying or looking my direction. Its back was turned to me.”

She’s a coward.

The Jarl and all the people of Whiterun were counting on her. They trusted that she would use her experience from Helgan to save them. We were all counting on her.

Yet she isn’t a coward. I’ve spent the past thirteen days with her and already she’s shown more courage and strength than any knight or guard I’ve ever seen in my life.

I sighed as I sat down beside her on the rock and took out my water canteen.

What could I say to her now? I wasn’t there when the dragons came. I wasn’t there when the imperials nearly cut off her head. And I wasn’t there when she was told of a destiny she hadn’t asked for.

We’d been counting on her even before we knew what she was, straight off the chopping block, she’s been expected to give without reward or cause.

Of course she would cower at the sight of a dragon. She is little more than a child, at least by elven terms. She may have a few more years then I, but her mind is still developing, her life has just started. Yet, everyone around her is eager to throw that life away if it means that humanity will be safe.

“Well that’s the perfect time to strike,” I hummed, passing her the water, “When its back is turned. And you still aided the guards. You did Whiterun a service.”

I looked over at her to see the face of someone who felt drained beyond belief.

“You are still my Thane,” I smiled at her.

She smiled weakly at me before pushing herself up.

“Let’s go then,” she smiled before continuing the march up the mountain.

***

The blizzard hit just before we made it to the cave and we nearly missed it.

“Thank goodness we made it,” she huffed once we were safely inside, “Now let’s go find that helmet.”

Just as she was about to step out onto the bridge, I spotted a troll. I reached out and pulled her back just in time, quickly covering her mouth with one hand and pointing to the huge, ugly beast that was already chewing on bones.

“A troll,” I whispered to her, “We mustn’t go near it.”

Silently, she pulled out her bow and carefully aimed her arrow. Her breathing was calm and her arm steady. She was a vision of perfect concentration.

The arrow hit its mark, right in the middle of the beast’s brow but that only seemed to anger it as it roared and came running our way.

Swiftly, arrow after arrow she shot the thing but it didn’t seem to do anything.

When it came closer, I pulled out my axe and started to slash at it while she continued to shoot. Nothing seemed to do anything though; it picked me up in one hand and threw me against the wall. I could feel several bones crack and it took all my strength to not scream. Pain radiated through my back and legs as I fell to the floor, slumping against the cavern wall.

I looked over just in time to see Saphira pushed up against a wall with a sword clenched in her hands.I can’t move to help her; every time she needs me the most, I’m left lying useless on the ground. How am I to keep her safe if I continue to nearly get killed?

It doesn’t look like it will matter for much longer though; the beast is snarling at her while she’s shaking so much, she just might drop her weapon.

We’re going to die here.

I watched in silent shook as something changed in her eyes and she pressed herself and her blade against the beast. It screamed in pain while she grunted as she pulled the blade out and shoved it in again. Blood gushed from its wounds and drool splashed around them as it violently threw its head from side to side.

The last swing she took was threw its neck, slicing off its head. She huffed and stood there shaking as its body dropped to the ground. When she looked over at me, she looked horrified. Dropping her weapon, she ran over to me and fell to her knees at my side. Gently, she took my limbs into her hands one at a time to examine them.

“A potion,” she whispered before searching threw her pack, “I know I have one. Then I can try to heal some of your wounds myself. I shouldn’t have used up so much energy fighting that damn troll! If I had only used a stronger arrow! Oh gods.”

Her head dropped to my side as she sobbed.

“I can’t find one,” she cried, picking her head back up to keep looking, her voice breaking and shaking, barely more than a whisper, “I have to find one.”

“My Thane,” I barely choked out, “Please, don’t.”

She looked over at me in terror. Her war paint was smeared by sweat and droplets of crimson. Her hair that was normally bouncy and shiny was now flat and tangled. Even so, she was beautiful.

“I haven’t been a very good shield,” I smiled sadly, “I break under the pressure and my blade doesn’t hit the target well enough to keep you safe.”

“Shh,” she put her fingers against my lips, tears streaking her cheeks, “Don’t say such foolish things. You don’t have to be my shield. I don’t want you to. I want you to stay safe.”

I could feel tears straining my own eyes.

I think that was the moment. When my bones were broken and my blood stained my cloths, when she searched franticly for a potion to keep me alive and the troll’s blood covered her face. That was the moment I fell in love.

She doesn’t want me to give my life for her. She wants me to stay safe.

Looking at her now, I wish I could find that same emotion that had swam in her eyes, the glittering range of worry and love. Even if I’m not the one that creates those feeling inside her, I just wish they would sparkle and shine in those big orbs again. Just once would be enough.


	7. Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire

The ground shook below us as we walked back to Solitude.

“What was that?” Saphira asked, shocked and startled.

I looked out from the side of the mountain and spotted what she feared most.

A dragon, headed straight towards us.

“Oh gods,” she breathed, trembling and looking around, “What do we do?”

“We fight it,” I looked over at her, feeling determined, “We have no choice.”

She looked at me, frightened and almost desperate, fear stretched across that youthful face. Until she turned toward the beast, determination practically radiating off her.

“For those at Helgan,” she said as she drew out her bow and arrow, “For the people of Skyrim!”

I watched as her arrow flew, damaging the beast. As it flew toward us, we held our ground long enough to get a few hits in before moving out of its range.

We fought harder than we ever had before, drinking healing potions as we battled and dodging its flames. Snarling fangs snatched at our weapons and arms, glowing eyes burning with rage. Yet as the beast fell and started to dissolve before us, we were assured our victory, our survival.

We had won.

The battle was over and we breathed again as its soul was taken.

“We did it,” I could hear her laugh as she said it, “We killed a dragon!”

She jumped and hollered and cheered before rushing to me and pulling me into a bear hug.

“Lydia!” she smiled so brightly while she held me at arm’s length, “I can’t believe we actually did it!”

For a second, I was sure she was going to kiss me when she pulled me close again but it was only into another hug.

***

After that, we walked back to Solitude, to receive her reward. But before we made it, she helped a Deadric Prince cleanse her temple and when we did get there, she helped another one ease a dead king’s fears.

“And here’s your half,” Saphira smiled at me as she handed me half the gold from her previous assignments.

“What?” I looked down at the coin purse that was shoved into my hands, “I couldn’t take this, it’s yours.”

I held the gold out towards her but she simply pushed it back towards me.

“If you hadn’t been with me, I would have died,” she smiled, “Take it. You earned it.”

What am I supposed to do with this? She pays for all the food, the inns we sleep at, we find our weapons and armor; what am I going to do with this?

“There’s that dress shop near the gate,” she started to say as she walked down the streets, “Maybe we could get some fancy cloths. That would be nice.”

“I’ve got a little work if you’re interested, traveler,” an Argonian voice called out, “You look new.”

“Have we met?” she asked the man, “I thought I had met everybody. I even played tag with the children.”

“I’m new, too,” he smiled, “I think we could be friends. You’re passing through Solitude? Maybe you’re looking to make some easy gold, yes?”

“What do you have in mind?” she asked innocently, though I wasn’t sure she would really be interested in the kind of work this man seemed to be hinting at.

“It’s easy to find things to sell,” he started to explain, “Things nobody will miss.”

After convincing her that they aren’t ‘thieves’ and that nobody would be hurt on the ship, she agreed to help them.

***

“Damn liars,” she cursed as she drug Jaree’ra’s half-dead body to a little boat and dumped him in it, “I need a torch and some oil.”

I wasn’t sure what she was planning but I got what she wanted anyways.

She took the oil and poured it over him and the boat before grabbing the torch and tossing it in with him.

The whole craft was engulfed in flame while she stood there and glared at it as he screamed wildly before dying.

“Well,” she huffed after a while, putting her hands on her hips and smiling, “Let’s go help Rikke get that Jagged Crown.”

I don’t think I ever feared her rage that much again but in that very moment, I felt that she had a demon inside her.

I followed silently as she marched out of the cave, the shrieks of agony fading behind us until there was only the sound of crackling fire. How can she simply skip out of the entrance after brutally setting a man on fire? Leaving him there to burn and suffer?

“It’s a shame he couldn’t survive,” she hummed, “Maybe he would’ve learned not to make a foul out of me. I won’t stand for such treachery.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually did that. I don't like being made a fool of. I dragged him into that little boat on the dock and set the thing on fire. I felt a LOT better after that :)


	8. Hope

                “Hey Rikke!” Saphira called after placing the crown on her head, “Is this the thing we’re looking for?”

                “Take that off your head at once, soldier!” Legate Rikke commanded after spotting the jagged head ornament on my Thane’s head.

                “I only want to wear it to town,” she pouted, removing the crown.

                “Just get it back to the general,” Rikke sighed, cupping her hand over her eyes and pointing my Thane away, “We’ll stay here and continue to look around.”

                “Ma’am yes ma’am,” Saphira saluted before marching out of the ruins proudly.

                As soon as we were outside of the ruins, she had placed the crown back on her head, giggling and skipping the rest of the way to Solitude.

***

                Normally we traveled by foot but when the general told us to deliver a message to the Jarl of Whiterun, Saphira released a heavy sigh and slumped her way to the carriage just outside of Solitude’s walls.

                “Can we get a ride?” she asked the man.

                “Where are you headin’?” he asked her.

                “Whiterun,” she sighed, looking completely exhausted.

                “20 gold,” he smiled at her, trying to lighten her spirit.

                Within ten minutes of sitting down, she had fallen asleep.

                It really didn’t surprise me though. The last time she slept was on the floor in what remained of the Brinehammer ship. Looking at her with her head lulled back and her mouth hanging slightly open made me want to sleep myself.

                “Your friend seems awfully tired,” the carriage driver commented, “What have the two of you been doing?”

                “She is the Thane of several cities,” I explained, “She takes on many jobs for citizens and capitol leaders.”

                “Thane?” he questioned, “Wait. She isn’t the same Thane that is also the Dragonborn. Is she?”

                I drew in my breath, contemplating if I should tell him. Would this hurt or aide her reputation?

                “She is,” I finally answered.

                “Your friend,” he started, “She’s been given to us all, to save us. It is an honor to give her a lift. Truly.”

***

                “Back all ready?” the carriage driver asked when we walked back up to him.

                “Urgent matters,” she nodded, “I need you to take me to Windhelm.”

                “Lydia tells me you are the Dragonborn,” the carriage driver smiled over his shoulder as he urged the horses forward.

                She looked over at me with raised brows and pursed lips. The look suited her, despite her youth.

                “If people are told the Dragonborn has returned,” I started to explain myself, “It will give the people hope.”

                She shrugged at me before chatting with the man herself.

                “Yes,” she hummed, “It’s strange really. Whenever I absorb a dragon’s soul, I’m surrounded by these beautiful streams of light, but it also burns a little. It’s as if the soul is still fighting against me in one last feeble chance.”

                “How extraordinary,” the man awed.

                “I wonder if the soul actually knows what’s happening,” she spoke in a hushed tone, looking up at the clouds filling the sky, “I hope it’s not in too much pain.”

***

                “You come here where you’re not wanted, you eat our food, you pollute our city with your stink, and you refuse to help the Stormcloaks,” a brute of a man complained as we entered the city.

                “But we haven’t taken a side because it’s not our fight,” a dark elf woman defended herself.

                “Hey,” a second man started accusing, even nastier than the first, “Maybe the reason these gray-skins don’t help in the war is because they’re Imperial spies.”

                “Imperial spies?” the woman sputtered, astonished by the accusation, “You can’t be serious!”

                “Maybe we’ll pay you a visit tonight,” the first man threatened while Saphira stomped over to them, “little spy. We’ve got ways of finding out what you really are.”

                “Hey meat-heads!” Saphira called out, yanking the man her way by the neck of his shirt, “How about you leave this innocent woman alone before _I_ pay _you_ a visit.”

                “My Thane,” I sighed, “We are here for political reasons, we don’t have time for street fights.”

                She growled a little before pushing the man away from herself and looking over to the woman while the two Nords walked away angrily.

                “Are you okay, ma’am?” Saphira asked the woman sweetly, trying to calm the anger inside of herself.

                “I’ve been worse,” she sighed, rubbing her temples, “Thank you for the effort though. But you’ve come to the wrong city for tolerance. Windhelm’s a haven of prejudice and narrow thinking, unworthy of one such as you.”

                “So what was with the two idiots?” she asked, leaning her weight into one hip, crossing her arms loosely.

                “Oh nothing new,” the dark elf sighed, “Most of the Nords living in Windhelm don’t care much for us, but Rolff is the worst by far. He likes to get drunk and walk around the Gray Quarter yelling insults at us in the small hours of the morning. A real charmer, that one.”

                “Why would anyone think you’re a spy?”

                “Some of these Nords will come up with any excuse to despise us. And it isn’t just the dark elves they hate- they make a target of the Argonians as well. In fact, just about anyone who isn’t a Nord is fair game for their bullying. I advise you to stay away from them if you can.”

                I couldn’t help but feel guilt eat up my insides as these elves discussed the hate spread by my fellow nords. As they spoke, I thought back to all the racist words that dripped from my own mouth, even when I was in this elven woman’s company.

                During their conversation, I couldn’t look up to meet my Thane’s eyes but once I did, there was a determination in her eyes I had never seen before. It was something that I only saw a few times afterwards. That determination has been lost now. Now what lies in her eyes like a heavy lead bar is something I cannot describe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lydia's racial slurs always bothered me while we were in combat.
> 
> Any-who, thanks again for reading! Thank you for all the kudos! Comments and the like are always welcomed!


	9. War Cry

A more mature person would announce their presence and do their job. My Thane is not a mature person. Upon reaching Ulfric’s castle, she listened in on his and his steward’s conversation. But after joining her, I was glad that she wasn’t mature.

They’re planning to ambush Whiterun. Innocent lives could be lost. We have to warn the Jarl.

“Lydia,” she whispered, “Go to Whiterun, tell the Jarl that he must prepare the city for battle. I’ll arrive as fast as I can.”

“Are you sure?” I asked timidly. Leave her alone in this city? Leave her alone to deliver the axe?

“Go.” she demanded sternly, “Now.”

I nearly ran out of the castle. I sprinted out of the city.

“Take me to Whiterun!” I yelled at the carriage driver as I ran to him, “I’ll pay you on the way!”

I jumped into the carriage before he could really respond.

“Go!” I shouted, “The city needs us!”

He quickly grabbed the reins and commanded the horses to run.

***

“My Jarl!” I shouted through Dragonsreach as I ran my way to him, “Prepare the guards! Windhelm is planning an attack!”

He stood up from his throne while Hrongar and Irileth grabbed their weapons and prepared themselves.

“We must keep them from entering the city!” Balgruuf commanded the guards.

***

“The Thane is arriving!” a guard shouted.

I looked over the wall of the city and spotted her pushing a horse to its limits, racing into the city walls with the moon shinning on her hair flying freely behind her. As she neared the city I could tell she wasn’t even sitting in the saddle, rather keeping a steady strain as she urged the steed to rush even more.

“Windhelm isn’t far behind!” she announced to the crowd of soldiers as she leaped off the horse’s back, “Prepare yourselves!”

***

I watched out of the corner of my eye as Saphira chased Stormcloaks from the city walls, hunting them down like game animals and returning quickly to chase down another.

Whenever a Stormcloak got too close to the city door, she would shout at them with the Thu’um, effectively scaring them off.

The battle was long and bloody and bodies of our army lay on the ground, coating the grass with gore. My own muscles ached but we had won. The city would be safe and the Stormcloaks have taken a loss.

Away from everybody while the Jarl gave a speech, Saphira stood over one of the fallen men tensely. She held onto her bow so tightly, I worried she would break it.

“My Thane?” I called gently as I walked to her side.

When I got closer I could see her shoulders shaking and hear her ragged breath.

“I’ll make him pay,” I could hear her growl, “None of these lives should have been lost. He will suffer.”

“My Thane,” I laid my hand on her shoulder and felt how tight her muscles were, “There are always losses in war. It is unavoidable. Perhaps it was even these men’s fate to die, serving their people. Just as it is your fate to continue on and save the world.”

She looked up at me then, with tears in her eyes and her cheeks flushed.

“But why?” she cried out, falling to her knees as tears streamed down her face and her soul wept.

I kneeled beside her and rubbed circles on her back as she sobbed. As she cried into my shoulder, I remembered a song my mother used to sing to me while I cried and began to sing it for her.

When she finally calmed down, she looked up at me with wide eyes and tear-streaked, dirt-covered cheeks. Her war paint would need re-applied after this battle.

“We should report back to the general,” I told her softly, helping her stand from the mud, practically carrying her to the carriage.

“Where are we off to?” the driver asked as I loaded her into the back.

“Solitude,” I answered as Saphira fell asleep.

How could this world of ours expect her to carry all of its burdens? How is such a soul to be expected to endure all the suffering and terror that has been thrown at it so far? As she lay there, head bouncing with the carriage, I could see small tears continuing to slowly fall down her cheeks. Dark circles began to form beneath her eyes and her complexion was near sickly.

I think that was the night that her hope started to fade. Even if she saved the world, people would still die around her. She would still have to watch as others suffered. Yet she still fought. She still tried with all her might.


	10. Falkreath Beauty

 “Do we still have that hideous monstrosity from Radiant Raiment’s?” Saphira asked me as we climbed into the back of the carriage.

“Yes,” I sighed, “And it’s actually a very nice dress. Why?”

“Is it in your pack?” she asked as she dug through her own.

“Here,” I passed the dress to her after digging it out of mine.

She bunched it up and shoved it onto the bench, squishing it against the walls of the carriage, before lying down on the bench and turning over.

“Oh!” she sat back up and looked over at me, “There should be another dress, much prettier but it should do for a pillow. I would suggest sleeping while we can. Once we arrive at Falkreath, we’ll be super busy.”

***

It wasn’t until after midnight that we arrived at Falkreath and a dragon arrived just as we did.

“My Thane!” I shouted, pointing to the beast.

"We’ve got this,” she smirked at me, jumping out of the carriage and running to the rescue.

And she was right. We did have it. We made quick work of the dragon, allowing her to quickly absorb its soul in front of the whole town, revealing her identity as the Dragonborn.

“You are,” one of the guards gushed, “the Dragonborn.”

“Could you point me in the direction of your Jarl?” she smiled at him.

***

After spending the rest of the dark hours killing things, we returned to Falkreath and reported back to the Jarl.

“Do you have a house I could purchase?” she asked the man.

“No but there is a property you could own,” he told her, pointing to his steward, “Speak to her about it.”

***

“Let’s go see my new land!” she cheered, practically skipping through the streets before running into a woman.

“Oh!” the woman groaned, “I’m so sorry.”

“No!” Saphira shook her head quickly, “I’m sorry, I ran into you! You aren’t hurt are you?”

Normally she showed compassion to the citizens of the holds but never did she put so much attention in one person.

When they finally parted ways, Saphira watched the woman walk away.

"Did you see her?” she asked me, looking at me with those big eyes of hers.

“I did my Thane,” I nodded.

“I think she’s the prettiest person I’ve ever seen,” she sighed, almost longingly.

“She wasn’t all that,” I shrugged, walking towards the land that we were supposed to be going to.

“I bet you’re just jealous,” I could tell she was smirking behind me by the tone in her voice.

“Jealous of what exactly?” I tried to ask without sounding worried as I turned to face her.

"That she can pull off that dark makeup,” she smiled wickedly as she stepped closer, getting near my face.

“Oh, who cares?” I asked defensively as I turned around again and stomped off.

“No reason to get all huffy,” she grumbled as she passed me.

Since she wasn’t looking, I turned to look at the woman that my Thane found so beautiful. Tekla.

I wonder if it was that woman that kept us from leaving the city. Instead of seeing her new land, we did a few things for the people of Falkreath before we finally made it out.

***

After building a small house, we went back to Falkreath for her to be named Thane of the hold.

That’s when she met Rayya.

“I think it’s time we part ways for now,” she turned to me.

“I’ll head back to Dragonsreach,” I tried not to sound disappointed, “If you need me.”

That was the day I feared that I had lost her. Was it that I got angry at her over Tekla? Or that she felt I was no longer useful?

Once I was out of the capital walls, I remember crying to myself, thinking about running back to her to try and convince her to keep me around.

But I knew it would do me no good. So instead, I continued to walk back home.

Dark clouds covered my mind as I sat alone in the dark, staying warm by a fire I had made for the night. We almost never stopped in the middle of the woods, preferring to keep going until we reached civilization. But my body and mind were so tired. Throughout the night, I tossed and turned, worrying and stressing.

She hadn’t said she would come back for me, simply waved toward me before walking the other way. It was too much like Malmury.

***

_"Come on Lydia!” Malmury called, waving her free hand far above her head._

_Her black hair swayed behind her as she lifted her sword again to hack at a training dummy._

_She had been my best friend since childhood. When we came of age, we trained together. Through the years she had stayed by my side, acting as a friend, an ally, and a family._

_“What did I miss?” I asked as I joined her side, picking up a stray sword from the rack._

_“Oh nothing much,” she laughed, “Just one of the men haggling me about details of your marital status. As always.”_

_“They may stop if we come forward,” I smiled, offering the suggestion under my breath._

_“Ha!” she laughed hotly, practically sneering, “They would only harass the both of us at that point.”_

_She dropped the sword back into its sheath as she faced me, taking on a more masculine stance._

_“You lady’s need a man!” she ordered in a gruff voice, “Why not let me show you how to really feel pleased?”_

_She dropped her shoulders, fist resting on her hips as she huffed at me._

_“Thank you,” she sighed, drawing her sword again, “But no thank you.”_

***

Year after year, the two of us became stronger but our bond weakened.

We each choose a side, I aligned myself with Whiterun while she joined the Imperials. She had always promised to come back and she had always fulfilled her word. She would make time to visit, to allow me to enjoy her presence. But on her last visit we had fought.

I simply wanted an explanation as to why she hadn’t joined the Whiterun guard like she had always planned. Why had she changed her mind?

She didn’t want to explain and she had left without promising to come back. She had simply waved my way before walking away.

It was a year later when she returned.

In a casket.


	11. Rumors and Killers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know that I normally update on Thursday/Friday or on Saturdays if my internet is acting up but since it was Thanksgiving and my mom's birthday, I was out of town for the week without any internet or signal so I apologize for the wait without warning!
> 
> This is a rather short chapter itself so I'll be posting a second chapter in about an hour or so, just doing finishing touches.

“What’s wrong, Lydia?” Irileth asked me while I sat on the bench, hoping to see my Thane walking through the door.

“Huh?” I looked up at the dark elf, “Oh. Nothing.”

“She normally doesn’t leave your side for long,” she smiled down at me, “I’m sure she’ll be back. Just give her time.”

***

“Lydia!” I heard someone call my name as I slept, “Lydia, wake up!”

I opened my eyes and saw Saphira standing over me.

“Follow me,” she smiled, “I need your help.”

I stared up at her for a moment in silence.

She came back.

“Lead the way,” I smiled back at her, air filling up my chest as warmth spread throughout my limbs.

***

“So where are we going?” I asked her as we walked towards the carriage.

“Windhelm,” she told me and the driver.

“Why?” I asked, eyeing her carefully.

“I heard a rumor about a kid preforming the Black sacrament,” she told me as she climbed into the carriage, “I don’t really know what that is but I’m going to find out.”

***

“Riften?” the carriage driver asked, “The city of thieves? My friends, I hope you are careful while you are there.”

***

Grelod the kind. It must be the town joke. This woman is heartless.

“Um,” Saphira cleared her throat, “Excuse me?”

“What do you want?” the old woman sneered, “You have no business being in here!”

“But this is an orphanage,” Saphira frowned.

“Be gone!” the old woman demanded before walking past us towards her room.

I watched as Saphira pulled out her bow, a single arrow and turned around as fast as lightning, firing her one shot into the old woman’s back.

I gasped as Grelod cried out in pain and Constance screamed.

“You killed her!” the children cheered, “You saved us!”

“Let’s get out of here,” she whispered to me as she put her bow away and ripped her arrow from Grelod’s body.

“Stay away!” Constance screamed, running as far away from us as possible.

***

After a couple of days, we decided to head towards Markath.

As soon as we arrived a man began sneaking towards a woman with a knife in his hand.

“Hey!” my Thane shouted, running towards him.

She jerked him around by his shirt before delivering two quick punches to his face with her bow in hand.

With one swift movement, she pulled out an arrow and fired it into the man at point blank.

“You saved my life,” the woman gasped as the man fell to the ground.

“Do you have any idea why he attacked you?” she turned to the woman to ask.

***

By the end of the day she had been thrown in jail, accused of the murders.

“But she’s innocent!” I shouted, running after the guards that were dragging her away, trying to save her.

“Your word against ours, stranger,” the guard snickered, “Who do you think the Jarl will believe?”

“You can’t do this!” I yelled angrily.

“Don’t worry about me, Lydia,” she turned her head towards me, “Protect the people. Keep everybody safe.”

***

Night hadn’t even begun when forsworn flooded the streets, out of the jail, followed by Saphira who was killing the brutes as she ran towards me.

“Don’t let them escape!” she shouted, following one as he tried to make his way out of the city.

I had no idea how she got her equipment back or how she escaped but it didn’t matter.

Dead bodies littered the streets. Some of them city guards, most of them foresworn, one of them an innocent man that we had met once.

“I need to sleep,” she sighed, looking over the man.

“Of course, my Thane,” I nodded, watching her sadly as she walked towards the inn.

She told me to protect everybody. Somehow she knew she’d escape. Somehow she knew that the citizens would need protecting.

If only she had told me. Maybe we could’ve saved this man as well.


	12. Thane-Napping

“One room please,” she sighed as she reached the counter of the inn.

“I’ll show you to your room,” the inn keeper smiled.

As soon as the man left, she looked at the bed with as much disapproval as she could muster with that pretty face.

“ _Why_ are the beds made of stone?” she turned to me, huffing.

“I don’t know, my Thane,” I laughed to myself.

As usual, she scooted as far as she could to one side, leaving plenty of room for me.

A small noise caught my attention across the room while I watched her fall asleep. Looking over to the source, I saw nothing but I felt as though there was a presence there with us. Perhaps it was the Deadric prince she had agreed to assist across the street. But from what she told me, I would assume he was too weak to travel too far from one of his shrines.

Perhaps it was only in my head.

Saphira’s mouth was hanging open slightly as she breathed in her sleep. I couldn’t help but smile to myself while looking at how innocent she looked in her sleep. I wonder; what does the Dragonborn dream of?

***

Within the hour I had woken up at the sound of a door shutting.

When I looked to where my Thane had been sleeping, I saw her spot was empty.

Where could she be going?

I shrugged to myself and lay back down but something didn’t seem right.

For some reason, I couldn’t shake the feeling that she needed me.

“I’ll just go check on her,” I told myself as I got out of the bed.

After checking by the fireplace and all around the inn, I decided it was time to check around the city.

“Leaving already?” the inn keeper asked.

“I need to find the woman I was traveling with,” I told him, becoming more worried as the time passed.

“I think she went out with a hooded figure,” he told me, nodding towards the door.

“Do you have any idea where they were heading?” I asked him, truly anxious now.

“Not a clue,” he shook his head.

***

I ran out of the city walls, hoping I would catch up.

In the far distance, I could see a dark figure on a horse, galloping away towards Solitude.

“My Thane!” I yelled as loud as I could, trying to get their attention but they were too far away.

I ran towards the carriage driver, jumping into the back.

“Follow them,” I pointed towards the even smaller target, “Here’s thirty gold.”

He snapped the reins and off we went.

They stayed in our sight for the most part but as the next hold came into view, the horse was exhausted and I knew my gold hadn’t bought me enough of his patience.

“This is as far as I can take you,” he looked at me sadly when we reached Morthal.

“Thank you,” I smiled at him, jumping out and running on foot, trying to catch up.

***

“My Thane!” I called out into the darkness of the marsh, “My Thane!”

From the distance I heard a cry of agony.

“My Thane!” I screamed, fearing the worst as I ran towards the sound with my bow drawn.

In front of me was what looked like an abandoned shack, with splatters of blood around a locked door.

Shaking the door I continued to call for Saphira.

“Saphira!” I nearly cried, unable to get the door to budge and seeing no other way in.

To my surprise, when the wooden door swung open, it was my Thane who held it open.

“You’re okay!” I cheered as I held myself back from tackling her into a hug even though I could tell that she was unharmed and just a little confused, “What happened?”

“Some crazy woman dragged me out here,” she motioned around her, “Then told me I had to repay my debt by killing one of these three people.”

Behind her were a shaking man, an irritated old woman, and a bored Khajit.

“She was a part of the Dark Brotherhood,” she told me, “I think we need to tell somebody.”

“Where’d she go?” I asked, a little confused.

She moved out of the way of the door, allowing the three people to go by her while she pointed at a masked corpse.

“We need to go tell someone,” she repeated, stepping around me, heading towards Solitude.


	13. Last Day Off

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I legit forgot what day it was and I think I messed up my alarm that reminds me to update. But I had Signing Santa this Friday (today) and had to focus all my attention and energy on that for the week. I was surrounded by adorable little deaf kids all day long! It was great!
> 
> Anyways, sorry I'm about a day? Maybe two days late? I don't even know!

“They’ve been handled,” she told Commander Maro.

“By all I hold holy,” he smiled at her, “Can it be true? Have you actually done it? This is a great day, my friend. You have struck a blow against darkness that will not soon be forgotten! Here, as promised- a most generous reward.”

***

“Are we really doing this?” I asked her, not sure if I should continue to follow her or not.

“Of course!” she smiled over her shoulder at me while we walked up to the temple of Dibella.

“But why, my Thane?” I asked, truly questioning her judgement.

“Because it sounds like fun,” she smiled wickedly.

“If we get caught,” I whispered harshly, “They’ll kill us.”

She turned towards me sharply, putting her face inches from mine.

“That’s the fun part,” she smirked before turning back around.

She’s going to get us killed.

Amazingly, we were able to sneak by the priestess, going further into their sanctuary to steal their statue.

She quickly grabbed it before heading back towards the hallway.

Silently, she pushed me beside a large stone carving of Dibella that was cut into the walls of the hall, covering my mouth and smooshing herself against me.

An older priestess walked by us, not noticing anything.

Saphira stared into my eyes, bringing a single finger against her lips before she looked around and moved out of the corner, rushing up the stairs and behind the shelves.

My heart was beating so hard in my chest that I was worried they could hear it.

Crouched over, we walked behind the priestesses, when suddenly I tripped over a table leg, knocking over a book that made a noise loud enough to gather the attention of everyone.

Saphira quickly stood up, putting the statue behind her back and smiling widely at the women while I shook at her side.

“I told you this was a bad idea,” I groaned as the women all looked on us angrily.

“Shut up,” she laughed nervously.

***

“Please,” the young girl smiled up at the two of us, “Let’s hurry to the Temple before the Forsworn find me again.”

***

“Come relax!” Saphira nearly commanded me as she stood in the lake, stripped to her undergarments.

“My Thane,” I groaned, “There are so many things to be done. We really don’t have time to be playing around.”

Instead of listening to me, she splashed me, laughing away the whole time.

I looked up at the sky and took in what a beautiful day it was but there were dark clouds not too far away. I’m sure it’ll rain today.

“Lydia,” my Thane sang, “Please come swim with me.”

I looked over at her to see her arms stretched out towards me, standing knee deep in water. I had to force myself to keep looking at her face.

She stuck her bottom lip out at me and tilted her chin down, looking at me with big eyes.

I huffed before removing my armor and clothing.

After an hour or so of goofing off and relaxing, it began to rain, ending our fun.

“Back to work we go,” she sighed as she put her armor back on.

***

While we walked towards Shor’s Stone, I noticed Saphira looking at High Hrothgar in the distance.

“Lydia,” she almost whimpered, “What if the legend is wrong?”

“What do you mean my Thane?” I asked, gazing at the mountain with her.

“What if,” she sighed, “What if I can’t beat the World-Eater? What if I’m not strong enough?”

“We’ll just have to train then,” I smiled at her, even though she wasn’t looking my way.

We continued to walk in silence until she drew in a deep breath and looked over at me.

“I’m ready,” she smiled, “Let’s go climb a mountain.”


	14. Our Destiny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY! I know I just added a "Major Character Death" tag but it's not for what you think! In a few chapters, a few new characters are being added in.
> 
> You'll see, don't worry! Also, to the guy wanting to know things, if you really want to know, I can give you a VERY brief run through of what's going to happen but I rather you just keep up the theories and find out along the way!
> 
> As always, thank you for reading! Comments are always appreciated! Enjoy!

                I followed silently; watching as she marched up the stairs, closer and closer to her destiny. There wasn’t much else I could do. The cold was so harsh in the mountain and the snow so thick, the only thing I could see was whiteness and my Thane.

The thought of losing sight of her terrified me. Every inch that we managed, I found myself praying to every God and Goddess that she wouldn’t leave my vision. We didn’t know where the edge of the cliff was, we didn’t know what lurked in the storm, and we didn’t know when the journey would be over.

Yet she never paused or looked back.

Just earlier she had gotten Rockjoint, probably by a wolf, and she still suffered from it yet she just kept going. Every so often, she stopped, rubbing her knees and taking deep breaths, but her breaks never lasted long.

“My Thane,” I called out on one such break, “People have died from Rockjoint, maybe we should head back to town and have it dealt with before continuing?”

“Like hell,” she huffed, shivering and groaning, “I’m fine.”

We were at the stairs, looking up at the stone castle when she fell to the ground, hissing at the pain.

“My Thane!” I screamed, gathering her in my arms, “We need to get you inside!”

The storm only grew and raged as I practically dragged her up the stairs.

I shoved the door open, pulling her in before closing it back, locking the cold out.

“Is anybody here?” I called out before an old man walked over.

“Dragonborn?” he questioned, “What happened?”

“Rockjoint,” she groaned out, clutching her knee, “Please, do you have anything to help?”

“Yes,” he nodded, running off into a hall before coming back with a cure disease potion, “Here, this should fix you right up.”

Sputtering and struggling to swallow, she suffered through the potion before sighing in relief.

“Thank you,” she huffed as she stood up, no longer clinging to an ache, “You summoned me. I apologize for the wait.”

***

Weeks passed, instead of just leaving as soon as she was given her mission, she stayed with them. She woke up with them, read with them, trained right by their sides. Everything they went through to learn the way of the voice, she followed.

“My Thane,” I whispered, grabbing her attention when she was finished meditating for the moment.

“Yes?” she asked gently.

“Why are we still here?” I asked, feeling restless, “They already taught you all they’re willing to without that horn.”

“Because these men train their entire lives,” she smiled at me, “They work so hard to achieve what I did just by thinking about it. I wanted to see how diligent they are. I’ve actually learned a lot. Much more than I expected I would. I can really appreciate all they do to learn.”

“Appreciation won’t teach you how to eliminate Alduin,” I muttered as I stood to leave.

“Lydia,” she called, still sitting in front of the alter, no longer looking my way, “If you hate it here that much, you are free to leave. I won’t chain you to my side.”

I looked over my shoulder, holding in a sigh, not sure how to respond. If I left without being dismissed, that could be labeled as treason or abandonment of my duties. But does she even care enough to have me thrown in a cell for leaving?

“My Thane,” I whispered, trying to regain my voice, “No matter how baffled I am by your decisions or actions, I will remain by your side. I will protect you with my life, no matter what.”

Part of me wanted to storm out of the keep, another part begged me to sit next to her. No matter what I did, I would hate myself for deciding such a thing. So I waited, standing in anticipation for an order that may never come.

She didn’t look my way. She didn’t even huff in acknowledgement.

She sat there, staring at the altar, hands resting on thighs.

“I’m going to rest,” I sighed, hoping, praying that she would care if I stayed, “Good night, my Thane. Rest well.”

***

It was several days later before she spoke to me again. And then it was only briefly.

Even through the cold of her silence, I stood by her side as she meditated. I kept watch as she trained. I bore my burdens as I waited for her to seek my aide again.

“Lydia dear,” Master Arngeir called as I sat on the steps, watching as Saphira meditated with Master Borri, “I’ve noticed that the Dragonborn seems a bit more aggravated than usual. Sometimes she can’t even focus on her training she’s so flustered. Have you any idea why?”

He was so genuinely worried; it hurt to know I probably caused those feelings.

“I spoke out of turn,” I frowned, “That’s probably what’s put her in such an awful mood. Tonight I will amend what I’ve done.”

“Spoke out of turn?” he asked, bewildered, before bursting into a roaring laugh, “I don’t think you could do such a thing with her! I thought she had done something to upset you and you had been giving her the silent treatment!”

I looked back to Saphira to see that she was concentrating much more on the floor than she had been before, like she was trying her hardest not to even hear us.

“I’m afraid it’s much more the opposite,” I sighed, “What would make you think that my disapproval would upset her so much?”

“Is it not obvious?” he asked, again seeming to think I was thinking backwards, “That girl cares so much about what you think.”

He sat down on the steps beside me, looking at me and waiting for a reply.

“I think she is so terrified of failing,” he started speaking again when no reply came, “she is hiding from her destiny. I think that’s why the two of you have remained here for so long.”

We sat in a not so comfortable silence for what felt like an eternity.

“I also think that you met her for a reason,” he smiled at me, “You are part of her destiny just as she is a part of yours.”

“My destiny?” I questioned, clearly he didn’t know I was only a random warrior assigned to a legend, “What destiny?”

“All of us are destined to do something,” he smiled gently, “Saphira is destined to save our world, I am destined to teach her our ways, Ulfric was destined to fight against the Empire whether he wins or loses, is right or wrong. You, Lydia, are destined to help the Dragonborn. To aide her in her journey. To pull her back on her feet when she can no longer stand on her own.”

“So tell me young warrior,” he stared at me with such conviction, “will you accept your destiny or fall into a hopeless despair?”

 


	15. Lost Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, time for an explanation.  
> So normally I upload on Thursday/Friday, Saturday if I get distracted. Well last week I wasn't in my home state. I was across the country for a funeral. I spent the whole time with family and family friends. This Thursday was Yule, so I sure as heck wasn't going to post on the Sabbath. So anyways, just wanted to let y'all know it won't be an often occurrence; things just got really crazy, really fast.  
> Anyways, I will be uploading another chapter as soon as I finish looking over it.  
> Enjoy! Comments are always welcomed and thank you everybody for the kudos!

“My Thane,” I walked into her space as she prepared for her bedroll, “I understand that you’re worried but you cannot hide from your fate forever. I am here-“

“Gods damn it Lydia!” she started yelling, throwing the shirt she had just removed, “You don’t understand! You and all the Graybeards think that my fear is just this tiny voice in the back of my head! But it’s so much more!”

Tears started to build in those big eyes as she stomped over to her things to grab a clean top.

"It’s this loud monster of a thought that just spends all its time screaming at me!” she continued to vent herself into a panic, “I can’t even think straight!”

She was gasping for air now, water flowing onto her cheeks.

"I’ve done so much stupid shit!” she nearly screamed, “How am I even still alive? And now everybody in the damned country is telling me that I’M the only hope we have!”

She started pulling at her hair, shaking like she had a fever, screaming as if nobody could or would hear.

“I can’t,” she gasped as she collapsed on the floor, “I can’t do it. I’ll fail and we’ll all die. If I’m our only hope, we’re all fucked.”

At first, I couldn’t even move. I didn’t know how to comfort her. I didn’t know what to say. For a second, I didn’t know how to breathe myself.

Until I remembered.

“My Thane,” I whispered, kneeling onto the ground in front of her, “A wise man told me, you must embrace your fate. It is your destiny to save our world. It is my destiny to aide you in your journey. It is my destiny to help you on your feet when you can no longer stand on your own. And I will embrace my fate, just as I know you can yours.”

When she looked up at me, there was no smile, no light in her eyes.

“The day you face yours is not here yet,” I tried to smile for her, “But I will remain by your side up to and past then. No matter how long it takes us to get there. No matter how many trials lie in our way. I WILL protect you.”

***

The following weeks were much easier on both of us. We had left the Graybeards the next day and continued on our quest to find their horn, only to find a note that had successfully angered both of us.

“The nerve!” she yelled as she flung her arms above her head, “I mean _really_?! Who does that? Ugh! We’re going to Riften! I need some _good_ mead to wash away this day!”

***

Though I like to think my Thane has morals, they seem skewed at best.

“We’re offering some extra work,” Vex lounged against a wooden box, “If you’re interested in that sort of thing.”

As she was about to take on an assignment from the thief, I had to butt in.

“My Thane,” I called, trying to keep the aggression out of my voice, “I thought we were coming to this town for a mug of mead or two. Why is it that we’ve found ourselves in this…sewer?”

I couldn’t help the pause, I wanted to call it what I thought of it but being surrounded by the inhabitants, who don’t respect the law already, quickly stilled my tongue.

“Because,” she chirped, grabbing the assignment, “It’s fun to be on the wrong side of the law sometimes. And it’s not like we’re killing or injuring anybody.”

As she giggled, she opened up the paper before nearly screeching.

“You want me to rob the jail?” she asked Vex, horror in her voice.

“What?” the woman raised a brow, unimpressed, “Are you not up to the challenge? Maybe I’ll just take it back and give it to someone who is.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” she started shaking her head and waving her hands, “I’m not saying I won’t! I just don’t understand why this is one you chose to share with a newbie.”

“Well if you can handle it,” she nearly snarled, “Get to it.”

***

Having talked her way into the jail, she had free reign to walk and roam, making the job easier on both of us.

“What’s this?” she asked herself as she picked up a note left on the front table.

I gave her a minute to finish reading before asking anything.

“It says there’s some crazy Khajiit paying rent to stay in a cell,” she explained to me, giving me a questioning look, as if I would understand the obvious insanity of the situation.

“Should we check and make sure he’s okay?” I asked, maybe it would distract her from thieving long enough to prevent it.

“Good idea,” she nodded, “The note says there’s a spare key above the fireplace.”

After quickly scanning the room for any guards, grabbing the key and making her way over to the cell wall, she came to a dead stop and stared at the man.

Ebony arrows littered a lute, a dragonfly was stuffed in a jar and the naked cat sat at his table as if he had accepted a slow death.

“Excuse me?” she swallowed around a clear lump in her throat, “Are you okay sir?”

“Come to kill me at last have you?” he asked, almost happily, “Thank the gods! I can bare the guilt no longer!”

“Excuse me?” she asked again, this time with confusion.

“I know I must die,” he sighed, still sitting in his chair, “Beware though, my new found honor demands that I defend myself.”

“Wait,” she commanded, holding up her hands and taking a step back, “Do you know me?”

Worry shone in her eyes as her fingers trembled.

“I am in no mood for your jokes!” he shouted, clenching his fist but remaining in his chair, “Strike me down! Take your revenge!”

“I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about,” she shook her head, “Who are you?”

“You don’t remember?” he nearly cried out, “Ah, that is my fault also. I am your so called friend, Inigo. I was the one who killed you. I tried anyways. I am guilty. Kill me!”

Her hands dropped to her sides as her face seemed to follow the same path.

"Inigo,” she said his name, as if she thought by just saying it, something would snap into place, “You didn’t do a very good job did you? Why are you here?”

“After I shot you,” he began explaining, “I finally realized my mistake and tried to turn myself in. Your body was gone. The guards did not believe me! They said I was wasting their time. I had to pay them to lock me in this cell. It is where I belong. I needed to repent. I _need_ to repent.”

She stepped closer to him as I laid my hand on my sword, prepared for anything.

“I don’t remember much, I’m afraid there are a few memories I’ve lost,” she smiled sadly, “Maybe I’m who you think I am. Maybe I’m not. But instead of trying to kill each other, why don’t you join me? Fight by my side.”

“Fight with you?” he asked, fear of hope in his eyes.

“Yes, Inigo,” she smiled brighter, standing straighter and extending her hand, “Repay your dept. with the blood of my foes.”

“Or die defending you!” he cheered, standing up, “Yes! I accept!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok! So this is literally my FAVORITE mod EVER! Inigo is the best! I love him so much!  
> If you have Skyrim on PC, you need to get him!  
> Here's the link -> http://www.nexusmods.com/skyrim/mods/40960/?  
> I won't be going into too much detail about his backstory, his dialogue, or his quest. I don't want to spoil anything for you!  
> HUGE shoutout to Smartbluecat for creating such a beautiful and diverse character that makes the world of Skyrim that much more addictive!


	16. Crazy Cat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm serious: you NEED Inigo in your life!

Whether they knew each other before or not, they were fast friends. Whenever we were stopped for the night, resting our bodies and preparing for the next day, she would ask him a million questions. He told her stories, jokes, little facts about himself, sweet things about his parents, the admiration he had for his brother, the guilt he still feels.

He’s a chatty cat but that seemed to keep Saphira happy and she even opened up about herself since he joined us. I’ve learned that my Thane had learned what magic she knows from an old woman where she grew up. I’ve learned that she first traveled into Skyrim with the intent to live in Solitude. And I’ve learned that she had a young brother and sister, both of which she loved dearly.

“Inigo!” she roared with laughter, “I love your stories! I swear, I could listen to you talk all day!”

While she tried to calm herself, Inigo smiled broadly, flashing sharp white teeth.

“We should go to bed though,” she sniffed and whipped tears from her eyes, cheeks flushed a bright red from her stretched smile.

“Before we do,” I interjected, “Could I ask you something Saphira?”

Her eyes were wide and curious as she took in my request.

“Um,” her brows furrowing, “I suppose. What would you like to ask?”

“Before the Jarl appointed you Thane,” I started, “He mentioned to me that you had been on the chopping block in Helgen. But I don’t think _he_ even knew why, so of course he couldn’t tell me. So, I guess I just want to know. Why were you in Helgen?”

Her shoulders tensed and her eyes no longer held the spark of wonder, instead they hastily looked to the ground at her feet. I could only watch as her expression twisted into a grimace.

“I,” she started but her voice faded out, “I made some pretty bad mistakes.”

Her answers didn’t come quick or clear as they normally did. Instead, she seemed to ponder every word before releasing it, still hesitant to even then.

“My friend,” Inigo hummed, easily drawing her attention, “No one here will judge you. Who hasn’t done a little time in a cell?”

“It wasn’t a cell,” she murmured, “It’s not near that simple.”

She took another minute to breath before deciding on the next few words she would spare.

“My life,” she breathed, “It’s taken me all over, just like you Inigo. But how we got there? That’s much different.”

After another pause, the guilt started to eat at me. She obviously didn’t want to talk about this. What right do I have to make my Thane suffer?

“My Thane,” I called before she could start again, “I understand if you don’t want to share.”

She raised those beautiful eyes my way.

“I didn’t realize,” I choked around a lump in my throat, “I shouldn’t have asked. I’m here for you, if you do want to talk about it.”

There was hesitance in the way her eyes flicked from me to the ground and back again.

“Perhaps,” she sighed, “One day.”

***

“Ysolda!” Saphira greeted the woman as she browsed Carlotta’s produce, “How have you been?”

“Saphira,” the woman smiled brightly, “I’ve been well but it’s always a lovely day with you around!”

“Oh,” my Thane blushed, rubbing the back of her neck, “Come on! I’m not that great!”

I could feel Inigo elbow my arm to grab my attention. When I tore my eyes off the scene to glare at the blue cat, he simply gave me a knowing look. That face only seemed to fuel my anger. Who gave him the right to give me that look? As if he understood the thoughts rushing through my head!

“It would seem our friend has taken a liking to a certain Nord,” he growled lowly near my ear as he leaned further and further into my space, “Should we push her into the river?”

I huffed at his words, only mildly considering the plan.

“I hope the rest of your day is just as good,” Saphira smiled even wider as she waved to Ysolda.

“You as well, Thane,” Ysolda waved back, head tilting to the side as she obviously admired the sight of my Thane. My blood had no right to boil at the wink she threw Saphira but it boiled none the less.

“If you don’t make some kind of move,” Inigo hissed into my ear, “ _She_ will!”

“That’s fine by me,” I growled back, trying with all my might to keep myself calm.

“Mr. Dragonfly thinks you are lying,” he hummed, finally pulling away from my side.

“Mr. Dragonfly can keep his thoughts to himself,” I growled.

***

We found ourselves in Solitude soon after, doing the queen’s bidding.

“Do you think we could head to the college?” Inigo asked sweetly, hope shining in his eyes as we walked down the street.

“Of course!” Saphira cheered, “I’ll finally get to hear some of your music!”

“Thank you my friend,” he smiled that bright toothy grin, “I’m excited to be sharing my songs with you!”

***

“ _The trees of the Rift forever I love!_ ” Inigo sang solemnly while Saphira and I sat in front of him, enjoying his performance.

As soon as he began bowing, Saphira was giving him a standing ovation, cheering and clapping wildly.

“Inigo!” she gushed, pulling him into a bear hug, “Those songs were great! You should improvise and sing more while we’re traveling!”

“You really think so?” his gravelly voice rose in pitch at the idea, “You really enjoyed my songs?”

“They were the best!” she continued to cheer until one of the college masters shushed her.

***

“Inigo?” I called as we laid out our bedrolls for the night, “You speak of the Rift quiet often. Why is it that you love it so much?”

“The smells,” he started excitedly, pausing his work on dinner to wave his hands in his excitement, “the sounds, the danger! It suits me very well. It feels alive!”

“The smells?” Saphira wrinkled her nose, looking over her shoulder as she finished fluffing her pillow, “I mean, I like Riften but the smell? That I could live without.”

I couldn’t help the smile that moved onto my lips when Inigo chuckled at my Thane’s mock gagging and clenched up expression.

“So what brought you to Riften in the first place?” I asked, walking away from the bedroll to sit on a log by the fire.

“After I quit the bandits,” he replied easily, “I came to Riften looking for a way to make coin. My partner and I found a job or two but the real bounty was the city itself.”

“I think there’s a house for sale in Riften,” Saphira offered off handedly, still busying herself with smoothing out the wrinkles of her blanket, “Maybe you could start saving up for it?”

“That is brilliant idea, my friend!” he nodded eagerly.

“Speaking of homes,” she took on a happy note as she moved over to my side, “I think we ought to take a break. You know? Just a short weekend or something, to relax. I went through all the trouble of building that house.”

“That does sound nice,” I couldn’t help my smile as I imagined spending a nice break with the two of them. The idea of reading by the fire, having a real dinner with a real table, or just sleeping in a real bed, was quite enticing.

“It’s settled then,” she smiled brightly, flashing sharp white teeth, “After this mission, we’re heading home for a well-deserved rest!”


	17. Guarding the Sun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I'm a little early but I'm stalling.  
> Have you even gotten a ticket and had to do that Safe Driving Course? Yeah well it sucks and I can only handle so much at a time.  
> I hope you enjoy! Comments are always welcomed!

“Isn’t this nice?” Saphira hummed, leaning back in her chair, letting the fire serenade all of us, “No draugr, no bandits, and no crazy deadric princes! It’s just the three of us, some good music, and good food.”

She sighed again, her toes latching onto the wooden bar of the table to keep from falling backwards. While I would normally be at her side, trying to pester her into moving, I couldn’t help but feel the relief in my aching feet. After months of wondering, plenty of nights spent on the cold ground, and an overall feeling of homelessness for such a long time, it’s nice to finally relax.

“Yes my friend!” Inigo cheered, raising his tankard in cheers, “This is the life! Though I think Riften would be a better place to settle down.”

Saphira burst out laughing at his pout, actually falling backwards. Even though the clatter was deafening and I was sure she had hurt herself, she laughed and laughed until she was clutching at her ribs.

What I would give to see that bright toothy smile again.

***

“Just a few more house hold chores,” she hummed, lugging in a barrel of milk, “And then we’ll be back on the road.”

We had spent a week at her house, none of us really ready to get back to moving yet, but now we were all starting to get restless. After she disappeared into the house, I continued to pull ingredients from the garden while Inigo fed the livestock.

“I knew I smelt mortal blood!” a gurgling voice nearly cheered.

As I turned around, I was face to face with blood red eyes and sickly pale skin.

“Wha-?” I tried to question before an axe was heading straight for me. I ducked out of the way as I reached for any weapon nearby. Feeling relatively safe, I had left my battle axe inside. The only thing I saw to defend myself with was an old shovel leaning against the house.

I blocked the axe with the rusty shovel as I pulled it into my grasp but it was nothing in face of the evil magic the vampire switched to. My body started to fail me, feeling weak as the leeches drained me.

“Lydia!” Inigo called out as he ran my way, drawing his brother’s sword. I could only watch as the blade sliced through the undead man, the ebony point poking through his chest. In a flash, the sword was pulled out of the foul creature and on its way to slicing through another’s neck.

“What’s going on out here?” Saphira questioned as she stepped out of the house, taking notice of the blood suckers and instantly moving into action.

One by one, the thralls dropped like flies as arrow after arrow sought them out.

“Is that all of them?” she questioned as she rushed to my side.

“Yes my friend,” Inigo nodded, coming up to my other side.

“Are you alright?” she asked gently, rubbing circles into my back as she knelt down, “I know I can barely stand when they do that shit to me.”

“I’ll be fine,” I huffed, feeling my energy starting to return, “Thank you.”

“I’m just glad you’re okay,” she smiled sweetly, “If you notice any symptoms of vampirism, tell me. We’ll go straight to a temple. On second thought, let’s go to one anyways to rid ourselves of their filth.”

***

Before the day’s end, we were back in Whiterun, making our way to the priest.

“You there. The Dawnguard is looking for anyone willing to fight against the growing vampire menace. What do you say?" a huge orc approached us near the gate, ordering more than asking.

“Vampire hunters?” she questioned, her brows shooting up before giving him that devious smirk, “Where do I sign up?”

***

When she was handed the crossbow, she looked at it much like a small child with a new doll. I was also handed one but I only investigated a little before simply watching Saphira experiment.

After figuring out how her new toy worked, she led us through the fort walls, exploring every crevasse. We eventually found ourselves on a balcony of sorts, looking over the land through the gaps of the pillars.

“Isn’t this place beautiful?” she gushed.

“It sure is my friend!” Inigo cheered, “It is much different from the rest of Skyrim.”

“Let’s go catch some bloodsuckers,” she grinned almost evilly as she turned on her heels, slinging her crossbow onto her shoulder as she marched back into the fort.

***

“Check this out,” she gushed as she observed a strange ball in the middle of the giant structure surrounding us. With the arches and the strange markings on the floor, I really didn’t want her anywhere near that demonic looking thing. Something just isn’t right about it.

As she reached her hand out to touch it, I slapped it away. If the vampires have anything to do with it, which they do, it’s obviously bad news. How could she be so careless as to just reach out for it?

“My Thane,” I chastised her, “Don’t touch it! Something’s not right about it.”

“Lydia,” she huffed, standing up straighter, “You worry way too much. It’s just a button.”

As she told me I was a worry wart, she stuck her hand onto the device. A spike flew into her hand and she let out a blood curling scream.

She clenched her other hand to her wrist as Inigo and I came to each of her sides, trying to free her hand without damaging it more.

Tears flowed down her cheeks as she screamed.

“You’re okay,” I tried to sooth her, holding her to my side as Inigo held her still long enough for the spike to dislodge itself, “You’re going to be okay.”

She cursed under her breath, trying to stop the tears while she observed the hole in her hand.

“I think I can fix this,” she tried to reassure us, inhaling air in gulps, as we all kneeled on the ground; “I just need to concentrate.”

I watched as she focused her magic into her left hand as she healed her right. Her breathing was sporadic, almost like she was fighting hyperventilating.

After what felt like an eternity, she breathed a sigh of relief. She flexed her hand a few times to test out her movement in it as she wiped away the rest of her tears.

“See?” she tried to chuckle through the lump in her throat, looking my way, “I told you that you worry too much.”

I groaned as she stood up.

“My friend,” Inigo groaned as well, “Sometimes I believe you are too stubborn for your own good.”

“Well let’s see what you nearly lost your hand for,” I sighed as we walked around the strange structure and the ball, now covered in her blood.

After a few minutes and experimenting with the pillars, we managed to figure out the puzzle that unlocked a hidden chamber. I believe what my Thane was hoping for was gold. Instead, what we found was a woman.

A woman with the prettiest gold eyes; if you had asked Saphira.

The moment their eyes met, there was a spark. Not like how the priest of Mara will describe it, like stars exploding around the two, galaxies bursting into view. No, it was a tiny spark. As if the mage had just found out they could do such a thing so, they proceeded with as much caution as possible.

Saphira never pushed her for answers; she never pushed her on her beliefs. She asked when she felt it was safe to ask, and she only commented what she thought would be acceptable.

When we first met her, she paid no mind to anyone except my Thane. Even then, she just wanted to hurry to her home. I couldn’t fathom why after she explained it may or may not be safe. More so, she had an elder scroll strapped to her back. No matter the amount of prodding Saphira did, the strange woman never opened up. All we knew was that she was a vampire and she wanted to keep her secrets what they were.

Before taking her where she wanted to go, we all traveled back to the Dawnguard fort.

“I know this place may make you uncomfortable,” Saphira started, not wanting to alarm the woman, “But if I want to take you anywhere, I have to tell the man I work for. You understand, don’t you?”

“Of course,” Serana grimaced, she knew why we were taking precautions and she almost seemed guilty for it, “But if you don’t mind, I think I’ll wait out here.”

“Do you want one of us to keep you company?” I asked, wanting to keep an eye on the woman.

“Uh, sure,” she nodded slowly, surely understanding my true intentions.

***

Serana didn’t want it to be the whole group of us. Once she returned, she insisted that it would have to be just the two of them.

“Serana, I promise you,” Saphira gently eased into her perspective, “Lydia is as loyal as loyal gets, she’s fiercely protective and she will keep you much safer than going without her. And Inigo has a heart made of pure gold. He would defeat anything that tried to hurt any of us, putting his own life on the line. They are trust worthy people.”

“Well,” she had groaned, looking almost embarrassed for not automatically accepting the help, “I suppose if they promise not to kill me in my sleep.”

“Any friend of yours is a friend of mine,” Inigo smiled brightly, “If my friend says your enemies must die, they will be dead before she can shout: ‘Fus’!”

“You have my word, I will protect you with my life,” I placed my clenched fist over my heart, hoping the pain I felt there would eventually leave.


	18. My Soul is Mine to Give

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHH! I love Serana so much!!!
> 
> Anyways, enjoy!

“Tell me about your parents,” Serana sighed after having vented about her own parents, “What were they like?”

I watched as Saphira’s breath caught in her throat, her eyes darting down. She had started the probing and asking, she could only get away with not answering herself for so long. Perhaps, this vampire could pull an answer from her.

“I,” she started softly, not making eye contact with any of us, “I never knew them. I grew up in a foster home, of sorts.”

She took a moment to breath, collecting her thoughts.

“I’m sorry,” Serana whispered, “I didn’t know.”

“My Thane,” I breathed softly, “You never told us that. Why?”

“The woman that took care of me,” she started to explain, “She was a wonderful woman. She knew my mother and father. From what she had told me, my father had died in a hunting accident before I was born. From what I understand, my mother died shortly after childbirth. Complications of some kind.”

Again, there was a long pause as each of us monitored her facial expressions, trying to predict what she would say next.

“Her name was Adah,” she finally started again, raising her eyes to look into the fire, “She was a Nord woman, she had two children of her own. Her husband had died from some kind of illness. I…”

“My friend,” Inigo practically purred to comfort her, “You don’t have to share anything you are not ready to share. Just remember we’re here for you when you are ready.”

***

“What a fantastic bridge!” Inigo gushed as he spun around, taking in all of Dragon’s Bridge, “I didn’t even know dragons used bridges!”

As always, Saphira couldn’t hold back her laughter. Even Serana gave a small smirk while I giggled myself.

“Inigo!” Saphira halfheartedly snapped, not really upset if her smile meant anything, “We are here for official business! We’re supposed to be focused!”

“But my friend!” he argued playfully, “The dragons finally have a bridge they can use! Though, it is made using their bones.”

***

“So you really think your mother will be hiding in the castle?” I asked Serana as we rowed the boat over to the island.

“I sure hope so,” she sighed solemnly.

***

“Woah,” Saphira gushed as we entered Serana’s mother’s laboratory, “What a set up. I wish my alchemy lab was this intense.”

“I didn’t even know all this existed,” Serana admitted as she looked around herself, “She had a small alchemy set up in her room but nothing compared to this.”

“So what are we looking for?” I asked, eyeing the ingredients on the shelves.

“She always kept meticulous notes,” Serana told us, “Perhaps, if we could find one of her journals, it’ll give us a hint as to where she went.”

“We’ll start looking then,” Inigo smiled, “Lydia and I will look upstairs.”

I eyed the vampire while I walked past. She’s the “living” embodiment of almost everything my Thane hates; vampires, necromancy, snarky comments, and other things. What was the appeal of being within her company?

I continued to question my Thane’s logic as I looked through the upstairs portion of the room. The ingredients seemed to be molding or rotten, giving off putrid odors. I tried my hardest not to disturb anything, only to save my senses the trauma.

“Found something!” Saphira announced happily, practically skipping over to Serana’s side.

“Let me see,” Serana eagerly reached out for the book that looked worn even from my view point, “It looks like she was working on a portal to travel into the soul cairn.”

“What’s that?” Saphira asked with a small tilt of her head.

“It’s where souls go when they’ve been collected and used through soul gems,” she explained briefly.

“Why would she want to travel there?” I asked, almost feeling like I was invading their conversation.

“Well many necromancers want to know more about the soul cairn,” Serana started explaining, almost nervously, “And even a powerful necromancer, like my mother, would easily be able to spend centuries there just to learn a little about it.”

“So how do we open this portal?” Inigo asked, joining my side.

“Her notes say we need a handful of soul gem shards, a bit of finely ground bone meal, a substantial amount of purified void salts,” she listed, “And, damn it!”

She turned away, lowering the journal and rubbing her temple.

“What’s wrong?” Saphira asked gently.

“It says we need her blood,” she sighed heavily, “And if we could get ahold of _that_ , we wouldn’t be doing all of this.”

“Well you share her blood,” Saphira offered with a shrug, “Maybe that would work?”

“Mm,” she hummed, tapping her booted foot, “Maybe. Though mistakes with these kinds of portals can be…devastating.”

“I think it’s worth a try,” Saphira smiled brightly before turning to Inigo and myself, “You both heard the list, right? If you find any of the ingredients, let us know.”

Again, searching didn’t take long but the smells were starting to get to me. Along with my frustration of this woman. I know I promised to keep her safe, but why does my Thane act so kindly toward her? We don’t really know who she is or what she’s up to. What if she’s working with her father and this is just her way of getting help to achieve her goals? She may betray us. Worse, she may hurt or even kill Saphira.

“Lydia?” Inigo called my name as he stood by my side, waving a paw in my face, “I know you’re more looks than brains but I know you can hear me.”

“Inigo,” I nearly hissed through my teeth, “I swear to you, if you say that again, I will not hesitate to push you off the next cliff we go to. And you know how many cliffs are in Skyrim, don’t you?”

“I,” he smiled shyly, feigning innocence, “Will keep that in mind.”

“Now what did you want?” I asked, truly annoyed at this point.

“I found the void salts,” he told me, “But I wanted to see how you were feeling. You looked to be pretty angry just now.”

“What makes you say that?” I asked, spotting the table of soul gems and walking over to it.

“Well you don’t normally furrow your brow so much,” he pointed to my face as he trailed after me, “And you’ve been rather hostile since Serana joined our team.”

After finding the shards her mother was probably speaking of, I turned sharply to Inigo.

“I don’t trust her,” I admitted in a harsh whisper, “What if one night she gets hungry and decides Saphira would make for a tasty snack? What if all that dislike for her father is a lie and she’s really helping him?”

“Our friend is right,” he smiled sadly, “You worry too much.”

“I found the bone meal,” Saphira hollered, gaining my attention along with Inigo’s, “Did anybody else find anything?”

“Nothing yet,” Serana grumbled, trying to cover her nose as she looked through shelves.

“I found the void salts!” Inigo cheered.

“And I found the soul gems,” I added.

“Oh,” Serana smiled, walking toward the stairs, “Then the rest is up to me. Are you all ready to go? I’m not entirely sure what this thing is going to do when I add my blood.”

We all nodded or hummed our agreement as we went to join her at the top of the stairs, standing in front of the giant circle in the floor. Once her blood was added, a purple stair case started to fold out from the air.

“It actually worked,” Serana gushed over the loud noise of the portal opening, “She actually managed to create a portal to the soul cairn.”

“It’s amazing,” I sighed.

“Let’s go in then,” Saphira smiled as she started down the stairs, the rest of us following. She stopped mid step, clenching her chest as she tried to step back. She managed to get back up the stairs with me and Inigo helping her.

“Are you okay?” Serana asked worriedly, “That looked painful.”

“It was,” she huffed, slightly bent over.

“I’m sorry,” she hummed, “I should have expected that. The Ideal masters are, mm, hungry, in a way. They want a soul. Since I’m a vampire and am not counted among the living, I can pass through without a problem.”

“Is there no way for me to go in with you?” Saphira asked, worry written all over her face.

“Well I could turn you into a vampire,” Serana offered, “But I can’t imagine that’s your first choice.”

“No, not really,” she sighed, “Any other suggestions?”

“Well they want a soul,” Serana pondered, “So we give them one. Yours. My mother taught me a way to partially soul trap someone. It should be enough to pay the toll but you won’t be dead and you’ll be able to go through. You will be weakened inside the soul cairn though.”

“Not the best options,” Inigo hummed, “Are they?”

“Soul trap me,” Saphira commanded gently, “Lydia, Inigo? I want you two to wait here. There’s no need for all of us to do this.”

“Don’t be ridiculous!” I nearly shouted, “I did not follow you through a maze of a ruined castle, fighting the undead, monster dogs, and walking statues, just to be told to wait and hope you come back alive!”

“Lydia,” she tried to sooth my anger, fully turning to face me, “I know I put you through a lot but there’s no point-”

“No point my ass!” I continued to shout before turning to Serana, “If you’re going to soul trap her, I need you to soul trap me as well. I will not wait by ideally while my Thane risks her life for a lead that may not go anywhere.”

“Are you sure about this?” Serana asked while Saphira gaped at me, trying to find any response.

“Completely,” I nodded, refusing to spare my Thane a second glance.

“Me too!” Inigo cheered, bouncing into our space.

“Absolutely not!” Saphira commanded, “I won’t have you both risking your lives in there!”

“Well too bad,” I frowned as I turned to her, “You won’t be leaving me behind this time, my Thane.”

“I know this is difficult for you,” Serana hummed, “All of you. I hope you trust me. I’d never do anything that could hurt you.”

My breath caught in my throat as I turned back to face Serana.

“I trust you completely,” I hummed back, nodding once.

“Thank you,” Serana smiled brightly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! As always, comments are always welcomed!


	19. Beauty in All its Forms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know y'all are here for Skyrim but I recently posted an original work. It's very short and it only has one chapter. If you checked it out, I would greatly appreciate it!
> 
> Thanks for reading!

If I had to admit one thing, it would be that I thought the soul cairn was beautiful in its own creepy way. It was obvious the souls trapped there were miserable though. And I would never want to spend eternity there. The little balls of light that flew by though, they were beautiful.

Finding her mother wasn’t the hard part. Defeating the keepers wasn’t even that much of a challenge even with their vast size. The dragon on the other hand, did serve as more than a challenge.

He summoned monsters of his own, ones that the group of us dealt with. We managed to keep them from touching Saphira while she aimed her bow and arrows at their master. With more effort than normal, we managed to bring down the beast.

After receiving the scroll, Valerica turned to Saphira with a somber look.

“You must keep that scroll away from Harkon at all cost,” she commanded, “But above all; keep Serana safe.”

Saphira’s eyes widened a bit at the demand.

“Please,” Valerica turned her head down as tears started to build in her eyes, “She’s all that I have left. Promise me you’ll keep her safe.”

“I promise,” Saphira smiled softly, “Your daughter is safe with us.”

***

Our next stop was the college of Winterhold. We had found two of the three scrolls so surely we could find the third.

We had arrived at the college rather early, having traveled throughout the night. Since she was given the chance, and my Thane never passes up an opportunity, Saphira sat back the librarian’s favorite chair behind the desk, lounging as she read one of her books.

Serana decided to go relax at a nearby table, reading a book of her own. Inigo started looking though the cases and piles, seeing if anything caught his eye. I stood by Saphira’s side, watching over her quietly so that I wouldn’t disturb her reading.

Once Urag gro-Shub walked into the Arcanium, I bumped my foot against Saphira’s to gain her attention. As he approached, she lowered her book and smiled up at him.

“I’m looking for an Elder Scroll,” she told him, happily enough, “Do you have one?”

***

We were led to Septimus Signus, a strange little man that I had an urge to toss into the freezing ocean, who of course led us to Blackreach.

My mother had told me stories of that cursed place before she passed. She had told me of the blind creatures that stalked the halls of the caves. She told me of the strange machines that killed without reason.

I had always assumed her stories were nothing more than fantasies. Following Saphira had proved her stories to be fact.

“Do you think if we hit that giant ball in the sky,” Inigo pondered as Saphira gathered a strange red colored piece of nirnroot, “Something will come out of it? I say we check!”

“Somehow,” Serana droned, “I don’t think that’d be such a good idea.”

***

As we traveled further into the ruins, we came into a room that was host to a giant sphere. It was so big; at first I assumed it was a rounded wall with hallways on either side. The glass circles throughout it caught my eye but we only walked around so slowly before we came across a stone ramp leading to the top.

When we finally reached the top, we were greeted by another ramp up to what seemed like a control panel.

“What do you think this does?” Saphira questioned as she ran her fingertips over the center of the setup, feeling the groves of the blue lights.

“Well it looks like this is a spot you can put that cube you got from the psychopath,” Serana suggested.

After placing the cube into its slot, Saphira proceeded to press the buttons randomly, apparently running on hope as the mechanism turned the glass and crystals around us.

“My friend,” Inigo hummed as she continued her button pushing, “Do you know what you’re doing?”

“Not a single, solitary clue,” she hummed, much to focused on trying to see the pattern. Finally, she managed to press the buttons correctly to get one of the glass crystals to come down and open up.

“I think I just figured it out,” Saphira smiled happily, skipping down to the elder scroll that was revealed, “You know, for something so impossible to find, there sure are a lot of them.”

***

It wasn’t long after that when Saphira told Serana of her feeling.

“I’m sorry,” Serana gasped as she lowered her face, “I like you too but I can’t marry you. I can’t marry anybody.”

“How come?” Saphira asked gently, not pressuring her for a negotiation, just genuinely curious.

“I,” she started, drawing in a deep breath, “I can’t stand temples. After everything that happened. I…”

“It’s okay,” Saphira smiled softly, “I understand. Well, if the temple is the only thing you’re against, would you mind if we considered each other partners? We don’t have to get married. We don’t have to do anything you’re not okay with. I just want to see you happy.”

I watched as Serana looked back up with hope in her eyes and a tiny smile pulling at the corners of her lips.

“I would really like that,” she smiled with such a quiet, hushed tone I almost missed it. Even if I had, it was within seconds that they sealed the deal with a kiss.

I watched their bright smiles as my heart shattered in my chest, sharp spikes of hurt piercing my very soul. I felt as though I was going to be sick.

***

“We have returned with the scrolls!” Saphira announced to the few Dawn guard members standing around.

“That’s wonderful!” Dexion cheered from one of the benches in the entrance.

“Isn’t it?” she cheered before stopping dead in her tracks upon laying her eyes on him with bandages wrapped around his eyes, “Dexion, what happened? Are you…”

“Blind?” he finished for her, smiling despite what he told us.

***

“This cave doesn’t look like much,” I hummed as we came up to the sanctuary.

“Give it a chance!” Saphira chuckled as she led us forward.

“I have to agree with Lydia,” Serana huffed as we came to a dead end, “It’s not very impressive, is it?”

“Both of you need to stop being so pessimistic,” Saphira clicked her tongue at us while she looked around. She walked back and forth a couple times before she cheered in celebration.

“You found a way to get further into the cave?” I asked as she jumped up and down.

“Yes!” she continued her cheering, “Now come on!”

We followed along as she clambered up the slope and nearly lost her balance over the tree.

“If this turns out to be a dead end,” Serana grumbled as she shakily crossed over the tree, “Dexion and I will have words.”

I heard Inigo chuckling to himself at her threat. For a vampire, she really wasn’t all that threatening. I still don’t know if I trust her though. My Thane may believe she is good and worth sharing her heart with but my suspicions remain.

***

We were attacked by Serana’s father’s followers as soon as we started to leave the sanctuary. There were so many of them at once, with gargoyles and their blood sucking magic.

Most of their necromancy didn’t affect Serana but their axes did. When I realized I was the only person close by, I leaped between her and the sharp blade. Using my shield, I threw the vampire’s strike back at them before lopping their head off.

“Lydia,” Serana gushed behind me, having fallen to the ground and awaiting her death, “Thank you.”

“I am sworn to protect you,” I stated as I turned around to pull her back onto her feet, “You may not be my Thane, but you are precious to her. Therefore, it’s my job to protect you.”

I had expected a smile, maybe even a hand shake. Instead, the woman latched her arms around me in a hug, wetting my shirt with her tears as she continued to thank me.

For once, I agreed with Inigo that I was slightly dull. It took me a while to realize that what I felt for this woman wasn’t fear or concern for my Thane’s physical safety; I worried for my Thane’s happiness. It was about a week or two later that I finally acknowledged the fact that I approved of this vampire, even if I didn’t want to.


	20. Dawnguard Verses Vampires

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've got some pretty sucky news. The new semester just started and my focus has to be shifted to my classes. I'm still going to work on this any moment I have the chance but updates might not be weekly. I still have one more week ready to upload so hopefully over the course of the next two weeks I can gain some ground and get ahead enough not to worry.
> 
> One other thing: I hate to be that guy but comments are seriously the best! Kudos are always welcomed and I am thankful people are reading and apparently enjoying my work but to hear your thoughts is so much more inspiring. And I don't expect everybody to comment on every chapter (I wouldn't) but every once in a while really helps me kick it into gear and make progress. Even if it's just "I ship it!", it helps like you wouldn't believe.
> 
> Alright, I'll stop harassing y'all. Enjoy!

We ventured into the old cave, finding many torches along the wall but the light never seemed to reach far. It was almost unnaturally dark.

At what seemed like the end of the cave, a long rope bridge crossed over a raging river. We were sent here by the Dawnguard; surely there’s something we need here.

“I’m going to cross the bridge,” Saphira huffed, glancing over each of us, “No one follow. It looks like it’ll barely hold one of us.”

As she crossed, her steps were soft and light while her hand gripped the ‘rail’ so tight, her knuckles were turning white. We all watched anxiously as she made her way over. Once she was there, we watched as she looked around, pacing from one end to the other.

“There’s nothing here!” she groaned loud enough for the three of us to hear.

“In that case, just come back over!” Serana pleaded, “Maybe we missed something!”

“Okay,” Saphira huffed, latching her hand onto the rope, “I’m coming.”

Her steps were just as soft and light, but we could only watch as the ropes snapped, she lost her grip and fell down into the water. I remember it as if time slowed just enough for me to see the fear and realization in her eyes as her feet no longer felt solid ground.

“My Thane!” I screamed, dashing to the edge, trying to see if she was safe.

“We have to go down and make sure she’s okay!” Serana started to demand.

When I was about to argue with her, wanting to protect Saphira but not willing to let her girlfriend get injured, Inigo suddenly disappeared out of thin air.

“She must have summoned him,” Serana concluded, starting to secure her sword.

“Which means she’s alive and needs our help,” I finished as I jumped. It is my duty to protect her and I intend to do just that.

***

If it hadn’t been for her joining the Imperial army, I never would have seen the jagged crown. If it hadn’t been for her climbing those 7000 steps, I never would have met a greybeard. If it hadn’t been for her finding and trusting in Serana, I never would have known there was still a snow elf in existence.

And if we hadn’t agreed to help him, we never would have seen a vale elk. The sparkle in her eyes when she pranced around the field still sends waves of warmth through my spine. I never would have imagined such an incredible place existed.

“Can we just stay here forever?” she gushed as she collected what looked like mushroom flowers and tried to watch a saber cat sleep on a rock, “We could build a house and raise our children here.”

“Love,” Serana giggled, “I don’t believe we can just have children. Not only that, but we still need to stop my father. You can’t forget your worldly duties.”

***

As we gathered in the large hall of the Dawnguard fort, Isran gave his elaborate speech on the tyranny the vampires had cast on us humans. While he spoke, I noticed the tight grip Saphira had on Serana’s hand. Anger seeped into my Thane’s features, over what, I don’t know. I imagine she felt offended on Serana’s behalf.

“Are you ready for this?” Saphira asked softly, the rage gone from her brows and her thumb rubbing soothing circles into Serana’s hand.

“I suppose so,” Serana huffed, “I knew it would all come to this, I just…”

“I understand,” Saphira whispered with a tiny regretful smile, “If there were a way to negotiate, I would much prefer it.”

“If only he hadn’t found that prophecy,” she sighed, her shoulders slumping.

“I know it’s not my place to say,” I started, gathering the group’s attention, “But perhaps this is what the gods had planned. Imagine for a second what would have happened if he hadn’t found it. Would things have turned out much differently?”

Serana looked down at her feet while she thought. Inigo and Saphira gawked at me until Serana lifted her head and smiled sadly.

“I suppose it was going to happen someday,” she nodded, “He had already been losing his sanity. It was only a matter of time before he found the prophecy. If he hadn’t found it when he did, if the Dawn guard hadn’t reacted when they did, I wouldn’t be standing by your sides. Perhaps I would have sided with my father. Perhaps I would have been forced to deal with a vampire hunter that was as obnoxious and paranoid as Isran.”

Serana smirked a bit when Saphira burst out in laughter.

“All in all,” she smiled, warmly now, “I’m glad things arranged themselves the way they did. If my father was to become mad with power, at least I was able to meet and travel with all of you.”

“I believe fate has a lot riding on us my friends,” Inigo beamed, “Let us not let it down!”

***

We joined the Dawnguard as they flooded the castle. I fought by Saphira’s side, keeping her back covered as she made her way through the castle. Once she found where Lord Harkon was, she turned to me.

“Lydia,” she sighed with a smile, “Thank you. Serana and I need to do this alone though.”

“I,” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, “I don’t understand. Inigo and I followed you through this whole ordeal. We went into the soul cairn with you. We saw a vale elk. My Thane, I don’t-”

“Lydia,” she huffed this time, looking more exhausted by the day, “Please. I didn’t want you to follow through those places. I would have preferred you to be safe in Whiterun or even in my home in Falkreath. But I was afraid and I was selfish.”

I tried not to stare into her eyes but I couldn’t stop myself. The light that once radiated from them was dim. We all knew this day was coming but I had always assumed I would follow her into it.

“I was afraid I may have to become a vampire,” she confessed, “I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to survive without you. I love Serana but I didn’t want to explore this world if I couldn’t have you and Inigo by my sides. But this is not your battle. It’s not even mine. I can’t risk you dying because of this.”

She had that same distanced look as she had after the battle of Whiterun. She surely knew death was inevitable. She knew none of us were invincible; including herself. Why she always insisted on completely the worst parts alone, I never understood. I _still_ don’t understand.

“My Thane,” I could feel the worry bubbling up in my chest, the fear I felt for her, “It is my sworn duty-”

“To protect me,” she finished for me, “I know. But your oaths have nothing to do with this. It is my choice to risk life and limb here. I will not have you follow me blindly into battle.”

We stared hard at each other before she finally sighed and bowed her head.

“I suppose it is your life to give,” she chuckled humorlessly, “Just don’t decide what to do because of your oath. Please Lydia; please don’t follow me into this battle.”

I watched the flickering lights of candles dance along the tears in her eyes. I wanted nothing more than to stay by her side.

“Just promise me one thing,” I groaned, “Promise me that you’ll come out of that room alive.”

“I’m sorry I took so long,” Serana shouted as she ran to join us at the door while my Thane quickly wiped the water from her eyes and cheeks, “I got caught up with some old enemies.”

“It’s okay,” Saphira smiled softly, “Are you ready to finish this?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” Serana almost groaned, eyeing the door.

“Then let’s go,” she smiled as she took Serana’s hand and walked toward the door. At the last moment, when her fingertips brushed along the wooden frame, she turned back to me.

“And you still worry too much Lydia,” she giggled, smiling brightly at me, “Of course I’ll come out alive.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments (big and small, positive and constructive) are always welcomed and well loved!


	21. Finally

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for continuing to read my work! Please comment and let me know what you think!

Inigo and I wondered the castle, waiting and hoping. We checked every crevice for vampires or treasure. Inigo continued trying to dare me into drinking from the crimson coated wine-like bottles around the kitchen and dining hall.

“How long do you think our friends will be in there?” Inigo asked quietly after we found ourselves sitting across from the giant door that separated us.

I didn’t know how much time had already passed but with every passing moment, the knots in my stomach tightened. I thought the anxiety would calm after a while, numbing itself like it always did. But even now, with the sun threatening to rise again, it stayed.

“She’ll survive,” I mumbled in reply.

“Lydia,” Inigo called softly, “That’s not what I asked. Of course they’ll survive. They are living legends.”

I laid my head back against the wall as I continued to stare at the door, willing it to move and reveal my Thane. As I sat there, my mind wondered to Inigo’s words. The Dragonborn, a Daughter of Coldharbour, and the Champion against the Doom strider. How had I managed to find myself right in the middle of all their destinies? They are all living legends.

While I pondered my own fate, Inigo hummed and sang to himself. If you weren’t told how important they are, you would assume them to be a band of misfits.

The Dragonborn, a mere child that can’t keep her fingers in her own pockets.  Immature, emotional, screwy moral compass, yet she’s the most kind, compassionate, and considerate person I’ve ever met. She will give her last coin to a beggar so that they can eat. She has fears yet she faces every trial head on. She is burdened yet refuses help, to prove she can.

The eternal daughter of Lord Harkon, she’s a crude, anti-social, lacrosse. She’ll sass you into Oblivion, she keeps to herself, yet she cares more about humanity than most of the country’s leaders do.  She’s willing to sacrifice her own kind and herself for a cause she abandoned long ago.

The Champion. Where could I even start with him? A blue over-grown house cat that repeats himself endlessly, makes the most insane comments possible, and loves killing spiders a bit too much. In fact, I’m sure he would love to meet Sheogorath and become his best friend. Not to mention the fact he seems to enjoy picking at me. Damn cat. Yet he has a heart of gold, even if his own mind tells him otherwise.

“Inigo?” I called quietly, waiting for the sound of movement to my side before continuing, “Thank you.”

“For what?” he questioned, his voice almost purring.

“For being there,” I shrugged, “When we were in Riften; we didn’t expect to find you, yet we did. When we started our travels; I didn’t know how to go about talking to Saphira, yet you did. Here right now. I don’t think I could handle sitting out here, waiting alone. But more importantly, thank you for being her friend.”

I refused to make eye contact for a moment. When he huffed a laugh, I couldn’t help myself from turning to see what he thought was so funny.

“You block-headed beauty,” he smiled brightly, flashing those sharp teeth, “I hope we’re friends as well.”

I couldn’t help but laugh with him.

“Yes, you flee-bitten lunatic,” I chuckled, “We are friends.”

***

Inigo and I had both fallen asleep against the wall by time those giant doors opened. My eyes popped open to take in what I could, through my sleepy haze. Saphira stepped out, soaked in blood and sweat, with Serana close behind, in the same state. They both seemed so exhausted, frowns set deep into their expressions.

“We did it,” Serana’s grimace morphed into a soft smile; “We finally did it.”

***

“Have you ever thought of curing yourself of vampirism?” Saphira asked gently as we rested in her house, taking a weekend to relax after defeating the vampire menace.

“No,” she shook her head before locking eyes with Saphira, “Why?”

“Well, you don’t have to,” she quickly backtracked, I hated watching her walk on eggshells like that, “I love you either way. I just thought that after everything…but it’s your choice and I won’t pressure you either way. I won’t bring it up again.”

“I’ll speak to Falion,” Serana hummed before standing from her chair, “I’ve heard he knows about these things. I’m…I’m going to go away for a while.”

Saphira stood up with a frown at that while Inigo and I turned fully to view her.

“Let me go with you,” she demanded softly, “There’s no reason for you to do this alone.”

“No,” Serana shut her down, jutting out her chin, tears building in her eyes, “I have to do this alone.”

Saphira looked away from her, obviously trying to think of a way to convince her.

“I’ll meet you back here,” Serana sighed with a sad smile, “When I’m done. I love you.”

“I love you too,” Saphira gulped, tears filling up her eyes as she closed the distance between them. She buried her nose into Serana’s shoulder, breathing in her smell before backing up to share a quick kiss, “Good luck.”

***

The following days were a quiet hell. Saphira tried to focus on training, practicing her aim with both her bow and her shouting. She even had Inigo help her build on her one handed weaponry. She was close to being able to duel wielding like a master.

When she grew tired of that, I worked with her on two handed axes. She wasn’t fond of it but it seemed to keep her busy. During breaks, she would twirl balls of flame between her fingertips, lazily laying in the grass in her yard.

“My friend,” Inigo called, “Why don’t we go hunting? Or we can take a mission from the Companions? Perhaps one of the Jarls has something they need help with?”

She only groaned in response. She stopped playing with the flames and turned onto her side, facing away from Inigo.

“My Thane,” I stepped up, tired of her pouting, “Why are you acting like this? She will return.”

“She didn’t want my help,” she sighed, “I know she doesn’t need it. I know she’s strong enough to bring down the _sun_ itself. I just wish she had _wanted_ me to go with her.”

There was nothing we could do to draw out that smile.

I sighed once before walking away, going back inside to start dinner.

“Don’t worry Lydia,” Inigo smiled from behind me, helping by setting up the long table, “When Serana returns, our friend will go right back to her happy self.”

I hummed so that he knew I heard. I just didn’t truly believe it. Even if I did, I almost hoped that she wouldn’t. I know Saphira loves her, but she is _my_ Thane. How can I protect her when one woman can tear her to shreds just by batting her eyelashes?

***

It was a week or so later that she dragged the three of us to Riften. She had gathered every gem she could find and every hunk of gold and silver, shoved everything out of her bag she didn’t need and replaced it with her treasures.

First, we made our way into the temple of Mara, where she and the head priest had a private conversation. Their talk took long enough for Inigo and me to relax and sit in the rows of benches. Inigo gave a small, quite prayer as he stood in front of the shrine.

***

“Greetings honored friend,” Madesi smiled as we walked up to his stale, “Could I interest you in some fine jewelry?”

“I actually have a very special request,” she smiled as she placed her bag of jewels on his table.

***

I’m not sure how much time passed before Serana finally returned. Saphira had been spending her time reading, catching up on books she had collected over our travels.

“I’m back,” Serana announced herself quietly, standing in front of Saphira who was seated and so engulfed in her book she hadn’t noticed her approach. When her eyes lifted and caught site of the woman, the book fell from her hands as she quickly stood and nearly tackled Serana in a hug.

“You’re back,” she cried out before crashing their lips together, holding her close.

While Serana was gone, I had been a little more than jealous. I cringed at the very thought of the woman. But seeing the look on my Thane’s face dissolved every ounce of envy. I don’t care who makes her smile. I don’t care who makes her laugh, who makes her happy, or who makes her eyes sparkle the way they do.

I just want her to be as she was in that moment.

***

“I have some business to take care of at Bard’s Summit,” Saphira explained, letting all of us know where we were headed, “After that we can go to Solitude or Markath.”

“What kind of business?” Serana raised one of her slender brows. It was normal for Saphira to tell us where and why, but she always gave as much detail as she could. Of course Serana would notice when such information was left out.

“Oh, uh, Forsworn,” she fell over her own words, stumbling to find something reasonable. Lucky for her, she accurately remembered the savages that surrounded the drop. She had heard about the legend that surrounds the place and tossed concern to the wind as she jumped. I had tried to talk her out of that choice as well but there was nothing I could do when she jumped as I told her to rethink it. None of us had mentioned the place to Serana since that short adventure happened long before she came around.

Saphira is practically shaking in her boots, whether from excitement or nerves, I’ll never know.

A few days later, we finally neared the drop. Along the river a plot of land spread into the water, almost like a little island. Juniper trees stretched their beautiful limbs over the small area, giving a bit of shade but still allowed for a perfect view of the waterfalls to the south and the mountains to the north.

“Let’s break for lunch!” Saphira cheered, her voice wavering.

“That sounds like a good idea,” Serana smiled gently. She seemed older since she returned; the wrinkles in her skin were a bit pronounced and her eyes a bit duller.

“Inigo, Lydia,” Saphira called our attention, “Would you mind finding some fire wood?”

“Of course my friend!” Inigo smiled brightly, obviously excited for what was about to happen, “Come Lydia!”

“Coming,” I nodded to him, turning after dropping my pack.

“I can help with gathering,” Serana tried to offer.

“Don’t worry about it,” I smiled, “You and Saphira can set up the cooking pot and get our area situated.”

Inigo and I had stayed fairly close, snooping more than chopping.

After getting a little privacy, as far as she knew, Saphira walked into Serana’s space.

“Um, I know how you feel about, uh, temples,” she stammered, trying to speak smoothly, “And I completely understand and respect that.”

Before continuing, she dropped to her knee in front of the woman, taking Serana’s hands into her own.

“But I can’t imagine a world without you,” she spoke so softly, I could barely hear, “We don’t have to be traditional. We don’t have to go to a temple. In fact, we don’t have to have any kind of official ceremony. I just want to be able to call you mine.”

“The moment we met,” she chuckled to herself before continuing, “I knew I would love you. Even back then, I didn’t care if you were a human or a vampire, or even a werebear. I just wanted to help you in any way I could. If it weren’t for Inigo and Lydia, I probably would’ve taken you straight to your home and given you every ounce of my blood.”

Serana stood there quietly, waiting until she knew Saphira was finished. I worried my Thane would continue to talk until she dug herself a pit and jumped in.

“Anyways,” she cleared her throat, her nerves obviously getting to her, “I know we haven’t known each other long. And I know we’ve been together for even less time. Yet when you were gone, I felt like you had taken my heart and soul with you. I wanted nothing more than to see your beautiful smile again, to hear your laughter, and to have you in my arms.”

 “So all that said,” she breathed in, rubbing her thumbs over Serana’s hands, “Would you marry me?”

I watched as Serana broke into a broad smile, bringing a hand up to swipe at a tear on her cheek. It didn’t take long for her to break into a weepy giggle before closing the distance between them, locking their lips together.

“I want to call you mine as well,” she smiled brightly, “And I want to be called yours.”

Inigo jumped up from behind our boulder, serving as our hiding spot, shouting and wooing. I took the chance to stand as well, clapping softly with a bright smile.

“Congratulations my friend!” he shouted as he cheered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo? How about that? I'm pretty dang excited!  
> Thank you for reading! Comments are always welcomed and loved!


	22. Betrothed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! I finally have this finished! Sorry about the long absence, I was really struggling to figure out how I wanted to write this and when I finally had an idea, I felt like death. Anyways, here it is in all its lack of glory!
> 
> Enjoy, thank you for reading, and please leave comments (they make my day every time and fill my heart with joy)!

The next months were a mix of excitement over their engagement and fear of humanity’s impending doom. Every time we were told of a dragon’s location, we went straight there but it seemed to be a never ending battle.

“My steward tells me you’re getting married,” Elisif smiled brightly at my Thane.

“That is correct my Queen,” Saphira beamed before letting her eyes fall on Serana, “And this is my lovely wife-to-be. I can’t wait to call her mine.”

“Are you planning on having your wedding in Riften?” the Queen asked, sitting on the edge of her throne, “Surely the Legendary Dragonborn can do better. What if you got married in the courtyard here, in Solitude?”

“You would allow that?” Serana asked softly, amazement in her voice.

“Well of course!” Elisif smiled ever brighter, her joy lighting up the castle, “If it weren’t for this woman, I don’t know if I ever would have been crowned Queen. I owe her my gratitude. Let my hold host your ceremony. It’s the least I can do.”

“Could you give us a minute to discuss it?” Saphira asked politely before being given a nod and walking off.

“Oh Lydia, you must be so busy,” Elisif gushed, “Surely you’re helping those two with the arrangements?”

“Yes your majesty,” I bowed slightly, “It’s been very hectic but my Thane’s main priority is the dragons right now. Or at least that’s what I’ve been told. Considering the state of the world, I would have thought she’d like to have her marriage officiated the moment she proposed. She’s been quite calm about all of it though.”

“I hope they have lots of sweet rolls,” Inigo added, “How can it be considered a party without them?”

“My Queen,” Saphira grinned from ear to ear, “We would be honored to have our wedding in your fair city.”

***

When we arrived at Whiterun, we made a stop at the inn. Our feet were tired and we were all in need of a drink. My Thane left to go speak to the companions, leaving the three of us to listen to Mikael. He is a good bard, if just a bit obnoxious. Though, if the look in his eyes is anything to go by, it seems that he’s looking to lose his front teeth.

“Well hey there, beautiful,” he practically sang as he slid up to Serana’s side, “New to town?”

I watched as my Thane walked in, spotted the bard, and marched up to his back.

“No, I’m here with my betrothed,” Serana explained with a smirk, “And we’ve been here plenty of times. I’m sure you know her.”

“Her?” Mikael scoffed, “Why would you decide to wed a woman when you could have all of this?”

“You should watch your tongue bard,” my Thane sneered as she gripped his shoulder as if her fingers were talons, “Unless you wish to lose it.”

“You again?” he whined, “Do you have dibs on every woman in Skyrim?”

“No,” she scoffed, “I’m not a whore like you Mikael. I simply look out for innocent women, including my fiancé.”

“You’re getting married?” Ysolda asked from behind the counter, “How exciting! Where will the ceremony be?”

“Solitude,” Serana answered.

“Oh that’s where the bard’s college is,” Mikael pointed out, the obvious if I may add, “Have you asked any of the teachers or students to preform?”

“No, I hadn’t thought of that,” my Thane frowned softly, “They do owe me a favor. Perhaps I could see if anybody would be willing.”

“Oh and I can cater!” Ysolda offered, “Since I’ve been running the inn, I’ve earned enough to be able to cover the cost of such an event.”

“Cover the cost?” Saphira scowled, “Ysolda, dear, there is no way in Oblivion I am letting you do such a thing for free. I’d be willing to pay you ten-fold for the event.”

“One-fold would be plenty,” Ysolda waved her off before going back to cleaning mugs.

***

Since Serana was cured, I started to notice little differences in her. Her older appearance is a big thing, but she’s been weaker. If we walked for too long, she’d be the first to ask for a break. She somehow still manages her necromancy but her spells don’t last as long and they don’t work as strongly. But even after a full day of walking, hiking, and swimming, she would stay up to gaze at the stars.

“Lydia,” Serana called me over while she sat on a log. She’d been staring at the twinkling lights for so long, I thought she might’ve fallen asleep sitting up.

“What is it?” I asked, stepping to her side.

“Thank you,” she smiled at me, as if I was supposed to understand.

“Thank you for what?” I ask, my head tilted just a bit while I shifted on my feet.

“For being there for her,” she answered, no longer looking at me, “For protecting her. She doesn’t say it enough, I know, but she truly appreciates you.”

“And what would make you say that?” I tried not to groan. I didn’t want to hear this woman talking so gratefully of me. I spent so much time resenting her, suspecting her, worried for my Thane, yet there she sat, talking to me as if we were old friends.

“She loves you,” she tried to smile but it faltered, her eyes gathering tears, “I know she does. The way she looks at you, the way she goes to you before me. I don’t know if she loves you romantically or platonically, but she does none the less.”

I tried to steady my breathing while I stood stock still at her side. It was too much to hear such a suggestion. If she truly felt that way, she would have at least hinted at it. I’ve seen how she shows no shame.

“Platonically, I’m sure,” I breathed out, my lungs burning for air.

“And you love her back,” Serana chuckled, her head dipping to stare at the ground, “It’s okay. I’m not angry.”

“We haven’t done anything,” I huffed, “If that’s what you’re thinking.”

“I know,” she nodded slowly as she raised her head, “You two have known each other longer. Spent many days with just the two of you. I only bring it up because I’m a bit jealous. Every time we share a moment together, I wonder; why am I here? Why isn’t Lydia in her arms?”

“You have nothing to worry about,” I smiled weakly as I sat by her side, “She’s loyal to a fault. If she says she loves you: she loves you. I am simply her housecarl. Trust me, if she didn’t truly love you, you would know it.”

The moment that followed was silent, save for the fireflies and crickets. I don’t know when but eventually Serana rested her head on my shoulder and slept the rest of the evening away.

***

“Love, I need to ask you something,” Serana cleared her throat as she stepped up to our camp fire. It’d only been a night or two since our conversation, my heart pounded in my chest. What if she accused Saphira of infidelity? Would my Thane blame me despite my best efforts to dispel her fears?

“What is it?” Saphira smiled brightly, stoking the fire, her round cheeks covered a warm orange.

“If we’re going to be wed, I need to know,” she exhaled, sitting at her side on the ground, “What is it you’re hiding from all of us about your past?”

At first, Saphira simply turned her eyes away, refusing to make eye contact with any of us. After a minute though, she sighed and straightened her back.

“You’re right,” she nodded, her red bangs falling in her face, “I know about each of you; the beautiful details and the gruesome ones. It’s only fair that I tell you about my past. All of you.”

Inigo and I stilled ourselves, moving to be within eye site.

“Adah was a wonderful woman,” she started, fiddling her thumbs as she avoided eye contact, “She deserved so much more than the gods gave her. She treated me as her own throughout my years even when some of the other Nords gave her far too much trouble for taking in an elf child. I was reminded constantly that I was not hers though. Between the other children of the village and the hate filled Nords, my head was constantly filled with the racial slander they threw at me. I would sometimes hear their angry voices in my head as I sleep.”

She was shaking by this point and I wanted her to stop speaking. It sickened me to know that I had spewed the same garbage that she was haunted by. The feeling of shame washed over me as she repeated their hateful words. I wanted to apologize but I couldn’t say ‘sorry’ for every Nord in Skyrim.

“Eventually, I started to think that perhaps Elves were as bad as the Nords said,” she continued, “I was the only elf in the entire village after all, what else could I be led to think? I started hanging around a group of people I knew were no good. At first, they were just a bunch of Nord teenagers looking to cause a little trouble. They would prank the farmers and steal from the inn. I thought it was all just harmless fun.”

Her face dropped, her eyes became hollow, and her shoulders slumped. I had spent so long with her, I couldn’t believe she would even associate with such a group, no matter how young she was at the time.

“One day, a strange man came into town,” she hummed, puffing out her chest, “He was an elf, he had skooma, and he sold it to us. Once we ran out, we were all hook and he wanted a higher payment. Since we had gotten away with stealing mead and ale, we figured we could get away with stealing some gold. And we did. And for a time, the skooma was enough. The ale and the bit of gold was _enough_.”

I watched as her eyes shone with angry tears, as the joyful light I had come to know bled out of those beautiful orbs. Serana moved closer to her side but her presence didn’t seem to even register in my Thane’s mind.

“Throughout my time with them,” she continued after engulfing a breath, “Adah told me what trouble makers they were. She knew I was with them, she knew about the things they…we, did. She was aware but she never called for the guards. She never forced us to pay for our crimes. I think she was afraid that it would mean admitting I was a no good elf to all those Nords.”

She laughed with such a lack of mirth, it made my stomach twist into knots. Even now, when I think about her words, I become sick.

“I gave her so much grief,” she smiled sadly at all of us before huffing and shaking her head, “I stopped going home every night. I would show up every so often but for the most part I stayed away. I felt guilty about ruining her reputation but I suppose if I really cared I would have stopped. But you know how addicts are. I never cared for the skooma, it was nice but I much preferred the ale we stole. The others though, they loved it. When they couldn’t afford more, they tried to rob the shop. We got caught of course. I thought we would just knock out the owner and make a run for it with any valuables. One of the men though, he had a knife.”

She tried to go on but seemed to be caught on her own words. Her breath was shaky but she continued anyways.

“I’d never seen so much blood,” she choked out as tears built up in her eyes again, “We ran after that. We didn’t even try to hide the body. We just ran. We stayed in an old fort for a while. When the Nords started to get shaky we decided to raid the village. They told me we would steal what we could, stay out of sight, and be on our way.”

She buried her face in her hands as tears flowed down her cheeks.

“Those damn liars,” she cursed as she shook her head, voice cracking, “Sure, at first they tried to sneak past the civilians. But once we were caught, they started to slaughter everyone that came within their reach. I tried to stop them. I tried to convince them that what we were doing was wrong. When I was pushed out of the way, I… I snapped. I tore into every one of them as if my life depended on it.”

Finally, she raised her head. She looked each of us in the eyes before she started to choke on her tears again.

“I was so ashamed of what we had done,” she grimaced, ducking her eyes again, “After each of my companions laid dead on the ground, I grabbed what I could off their bodies before I ran. I could hear the villagers crying behind me as I darted through trees and cliffs. The scar on my cheek is actually from a branch catching my face during that mad dash.”

In my mind’s eye I could see her frantic face as she scrambled up a rocky cliff. I imagined the fear in her eyes as her breath came out in gasp, frantically trying to continue on. The dirt filling the space between her nails and her skin, the leaves and branches scratching at her arms and face. Even though it was only an imagine I made up, I wanted to pull her into my arms. I desperately wanted to chase away her pain, to erase it from her mind.

“I wandered for a while after that,” she explained softly, “When I reached the border of Skyrim, I crossed over into this land as if it were my own. I saw the sleeping soldiers and my stomach growled. I was so hungry and so desperate. As I was about to snatch some of their rations, they were ambushed by Imperials. I was struck over the head and I saw blue blurs fighting red blurs as I fell. Then I woke in the back of a carriage, on my way to Helgan.”

“So the Imperials assumed you were with the Stormcloaks?” Serena asked gently, I doubt she was ever told much about Helgan.

“I suppose they did,” she nodded, rubbing her hands together to warm them, “You know, with everything that happened, I really don’t know why I sided with the Imperials. The war hadn’t started yet when I was with Adah. But I feel like, if I knew her correctly, she would have sided with the Imperials.”

“The war hadn’t started yet?” I questioned, “How long were you traveling for?”

“I,” she sucked in a gulp of air, her brows furrowing at me, “I don’t remember. It felt like such an awfully long time. But I don’t know if I was ever truly sober during any of my traveling. I was alone most of the time. I remember having a companion or two but never for long. I found a journal once. I don’t remember if I bought it or stole it, but for a while I tried to keep up with the days. I never jotted down much. Not until my gold ran out and my stomach emptied.”

She scratched at her arms as she spoke, her eyes resting on the lashing flames of the fire.

“It was when I was starving,” she continued, toeing the ground with her boot, “that I tried to keep up with the days. My mind was clear enough to distinguish things anyways. What gold I could find, I spent on food. When I managed to come across enough, I would buy a bottle of mead or a few arrows for my bow. I still have that journal. I try to write in it when I remember. It’s running out of pages now.”

“I wish I could remember all the people I met,” she frowned sadly, her eyes not as gloomy but still lacking that radiant light, “All the places I’ve been. But ale and mead wash down memories just as easily as thirst.”


	23. Vows to You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's not dead!!! Yeah I suck.
> 
> I am truly sorry for the long wait for this chapter, I did not predict classes causing all of my creativity to literally just pool out of me instantly. But the semester is over and I have been back at it for a week or so now! The next chapter is in the works, it's not very far along but it should be smooth sailing here soon. 
> 
> Thank you for not giving up on me! Comments are always warmly welcomed!

“Oh you look absolutely dashing!” Endarie gushed as she finished lacing up the back of Serana’s dress.

“I’m so excited,” Serana giggled as she slipped on a pair of boots, “I think I might throw up.”

“Well wait until after you’ve gotten out of the dress,” Endarie wagged her finger at Serana, “My sister and I worked too hard on this dress for it to be ruined before you exchange vows.”

“Just relax,” I chuckled, walking further into the room of the Winking Skeever, “We’re almost ready for you in the court. You look stunning.”

Serana was absolutely glowing, her teeth constantly showing due to her wide smile. Her expression softened even more when her eyes landed on me.

“Thank you Lydia,” she hummed, her cheeks turning pink.

“You should see Saphira right now,” I chuckled as I moved to her side, brushing a speck of dust from her shoulder lightly, “She’s pacing like a caged animal and sweating like she’s run from another hold. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her so nervous.”

“Well that makes me feel a little better,” she giggled, ducking her face into her hand to cover her shy smile.

It wasn’t long after that I was leading her to my Thane. The ceremony itself was fairly short. There was one priest of Mara who only spoke a handful of words before the two women took over to share their vows. In all honesty, I didn’t care to hear their words the first time but they had been repeated so many times since then I have memorized them.

‘ _You are Blood of my Blood, and Bone of my Bone._  
I give you my Body, that we two might be One.   
I give you my Spirit, 'til our Life shall be Done.   
  
You cannot possess me for I belong to myself   
But while we both wish it, I give you that which is mine to give   
You cannon command me, for I am a free person   
But I shall serve you in those ways you require   
and the honeycomb will taste sweeter coming from my hand.

 __  
I pledge to you that yours will be the name I cry aloud in the night,  
And the eyes into which I smile in the morning.   
I pledge to you the first bite of my meat and the first drink from my cup.   
I pledge to you my living and my dying, each equally in your care.   
I shall be a shield for your back and you for mine.   
I shall not slander you, nor you me.   
I shall honor you above all others, and when we quarrel we shall do so in   
Private and tell no strangers our grievances.   
This is my wedding vow to you.’

 

It was as if every person my Thane had met cheered amongst the crowd as they were announced as partners till the end. Every bard within Skyrim was gathered on the stairs looking over the courtyard, playing their instruments and singing along. The civilians danced and cheered along with the happy couple. The guards toasted and drank mead and ale as the rest of the hold celebrated.

“Lydia?” Inigo asked boldly as he stepped up to my side, holding out his hand as if his invitation was obvious, “Would you like to dance with me?”

I couldn’t help the huff of laughter that came before I placed my hand within his. The lutes and drums were set at a fast pace, keeping the mood cheery and light.

At one point, a large circle of people had joined hands and pranced around, stepping inward and jumping outward with the music. Of course, Inigo dragged me to the crowd and we joined in. From across the circle, I saw my Thane and Serana joined hand in hand, dancing with the other party goers. Even the children joined in, keeping up with the steps easily.

Once the sun began to set, the last glasses of wine were passed around before my Thane called for everybody’s attention. She stood at the top of the stairs within the court yard, one hand resting lightly on Serana’s hip while the other held up her wine glass.

“I would like to thank each and every one of you for coming,” she smiled brightly, “Even you Mikael.”

The man simply raised his own wine glass in her direction as everyone chuckled.

“I’d like to make a toast before the bard’s college preforms their last song for the evening,” she explained, raising her glass, “To cheating, stealing, fighting, and drinking.”

A few of the older men cheered, raising their glasses and promptly being smacked on their shoulders by the nearest woman.

“Hold your horses now. If you cheat,” she paused, scanning the crowd, “may you cheat death.”

“If you steal,” she smiled as she squeezed Serana closer, “may you steal a woman’s heart.”

“If you fight,” a fire was set in her eyes as she glanced over everyone, “may you fight for a brother.”

“And if you drink,” the softest of smirks rested on her face, “may you drink with me.”

She raised her glass a bit more before taking a gulp along with everybody else.

“Thank you all,” she smiled brightly before sharing a kiss with Serana.

After the two had left the stairs, the bards all gathered back to their platform. They had left their instruments behind and only sang, their voices ringing throughout the area. Their song was soft and sweet, allowing the two women to dance together once more before heading off.

***

“Well my friend,” Inigo smiled brightly at me, standing at the side of his bed in our inn room, “I’m all packed and ready to go to Riften. Where will you be going?”

“I was thinking of heading to Whiterun,” I shrugged, flipping to the next page of the book resting in my lap.

“Why not travel with me?” he asked, his smile so wide his sharp teeth sparkled in the light of the lantern.

“Thank you but I do wish to say hello to my father,” I explained, shrugging softly.

“Your father?” he questioned, sitting on the edge of his bed closest to me, “You don’t speak of him much. What is he like?”

“Oh he’s something,” I hummed, marking my page and setting my book down, “He’s a retired guard. He served in the cloud district of Whiterun when I was a child.”

_“Get out of here you free loader!” he yelled at the beggar as he shoved him down the stairs of the path. He made a face of disgust as the man laid limply on the stone. Blood covered the man’s face, groaning just a few feet away from me._

“He is a man of high reputation,” I continued, refusing eye contact with Inigo.

_“I heard Birger’s girl was caught spending time with a prisoner,” one guard told my father in a hushed tone but loud enough for me to hear from my hiding spot. Since I was still just a little girl, I wasn’t supposed to be around the guards while they took a break from working._

_“Which one?” my father asked, anger already sitting on his tongue. Having been at the receiving end of his fury before, I remained quite as a temple mouse while I eavesdropped._

_“That filthy wood elf,” the other guard snarled._

_“How disgraceful,” my father growled, “Someone ought to put that savage in his place.”_

“He stands by his morals,” I swallow past the lump in my throat.

_“Lydia!” he screamed my name as he pulled me toward him by my hair, “If I catch you spending anymore frivolous time with that bitch, you’ll be meeting the ancestors far sooner than you thought. I will not have a daughter that brings shame and corruption on this family’s good name.”_

_He would never trust his teenage daughter when she told him they were only chatting, so I kept my mouth shut as he shoved me away. I fell backwards into the floor, landing on my ass as he stormed away._

“And he is a man of great pride,” I sigh before grabbing my book.

_“You have brought shame on our family,” he huffed from behind me as I wept over Malmury’s coffin, “Weeping like a babe over some girl.”_

_“How can you say that?” I choked out between my tears, with the cold stone cutting into my knees, the harsh wood of her coffin splitting my fingertips, and the stink of ale waving off my father burning my nose, “She meant everything to me. How can you treat her death like this?”_

_“She sided with those damned Imperials,” he snarled, “She corrupted you. We are all we have left and you were willing to throw our family away to be with her.”_

_“She was the love of my life!” I screamed, whirling around as I stood, “She was more of a family to me than you ever were!”_

_My face erupted in fiery pain as his hand flew between us._

_“Do not return to my house,” he commanded quietly, “Until you have proven yourself worthy of my family’s name, you will have nothing to do with it. Stay out of my sights if you know what’s good for you.”_

“Besides, I have something to prove to him,” I smiled hesitantly, “Perhaps afterwards, I can meet with you in Riften?”

“Of course,” Inigo smiled brightly, flashing those sharp teeth, “We can have drinks once you’ve arrived! We can have a celebration of our own!”


	24. Father

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're a loser and you know it clap your hands *clap clap*  
> I'm sorry I suck so much. I have literally no excuse. I know where I want to end up with this work, I know EXACTLY how I want to write it, I just have no flipping clue how I'm gonna get us there. I'm also struggling with how much longer I want to stall before the big reveal. So in short: the wait is going to continue but for now, have some insight on Lydia's home life!

It took me only a day to arrive in Whiterun on horseback. It had been so long since I had a solitary ride that I took up talking to my horse through the journey. Once Dragon’s Reach was in sight, I left the road to get to my father’s home. He hadn’t lived in the city since he retired but spent most of his time drinking at the inn. The roof of his small house looked to be in shambles and the walls seemed to have been ill-repaired recently. Perhaps I would help him put his house back in order.

After patting my horse for doing so well on our long trip, I slowly made my way to the front door. Before even lifting my hand to knock, I couldn’t help but try to run through all the things I could tell my father. I had finally done something worth his praise.

A lump sat in my throat and my hand refused to rise once I decided I was ready.

“You can do this,” I whispered harshly to myself.

It took several deep breaths before I could finally tap my knuckles against the sturdy wooden door.

My father’s gruff voice called out from somewhere inside, something along the lines of ‘hold on a damn minute’.

Once he finally ripped the door open, I was greeted with a sight I should have expected. His eyes that were once hard and harsh were now sunken and dull. His bushy brown hair that I had always admired was now oily and plastered to his scalp and face. His lips were cracked beyond repair, his nails long and choppy, and his back hunched like the old pitiful man he now was.

“Father, I-” I tried to start before he snarled and slammed the door in my face.

“I told you not to come back here until you brought us honor!” he shouted from the other side, “Now scram!”

“But I have!” I called back, placing my ear to the door to listen for him, “I have traveled all over Skyrim, working as the housecarl of a thane! Of the Dragonborn! I have fought beside her to end the war that had plagued our land! I fought to protect Whiterun from the Stormcloaks. We defeated the Vampire Lord Harkon.”

When I received no reply, I drew myself back. My heart felt heavy in my chest, after all these years, he still felt no compassion.

“I have brought you honor,” the words slipped from my lips in a heavy puff.

I started to walk away, my feet thudding against the ground as I moved, when the door finally opened. My father had his head down while he shook in his place.

“You think that what you did was commendable?” he spat down at me, finally looking at me, “Are you that filthy pointed ear freak’s personal housecarl or her personal whore?”

“What?” I asked quietly, a lump closed off my throat and my mouth went dry.

“Instead of saving Whiterun, or at least joining the Stormcloaks,” he huffed angrily, “You ran around the country with some savage and then had the nerve to join the Imperials! You didn’t save Whiterun! You led to her ruin! What’s more is you’ve done so by the side of some elvish freak!”

“You don’t even know her!” I screamed, having heard enough of his slander, “She is a gift from the gods and she has worked herself to the bone trying to right the wrongs of our world! She is just a child! Yet you judge her because of the blood in her veins which she has no control of! She has done you no wrong!”

My anger boiled in my chest while my father simply glared at me.

“Get off my property,” he grumbled as he shut his door slowly.

I screamed as I kicked a nearby rock. How could he remain so hateful, he rather our world be devoured by dragons than accept a Bosmer as an ally? In my fury, I snatched up a rock, squeezing it, hoping it would shatter, knowing it wouldn’t. When my palm started to ache from its sharp corner cutting into my flesh, I used all my might to throw the stone into my father’s only window.

“Like it or not,” I yelled as I mounted my horse, “She is the Dragonborn, and she is our only hope!”

I rode off as he glared at me from his shattered window.

That was the last time I saw my father. From what I heard at an inn, bandits had raided and burned down his house and he was now begging on the streets.

***

At some point in my ride, rain started pouring down, drenching me to the bone. Normally, I would continue riding, trekking on to just get the trip over with but with the cold dread sitting in my core, I chose to stop in the next cave I saw.

My thoughts swam around my mind while I huddled next to my small fire. Mable, my fine stead, stood at the other side of the cave, sneezing all over the floor.

“We’ll be out of here in no time,” I promised her, trying to distract myself from my father’s voice echoing in my mind, “We’ll be with friends again soon enough.”

***

“And that is how I, the Brave Inigo,” my blue friend boasted from the bar, next to a group of dazzled women, “Aided and eventually saved the Great Dragonborn!”

“When did you save her?” I questioned once I was standing right behind him, “I can remember her helping you get your tail unstuck from a tree, but you saving her?”

“That’s not true and you know it!” he blushed and stuttered, pointing accusingly at me as he whirled around on his bar stool.

“No it’s not,” I couldn’t help the giggle, swaying to lean my hip against the bar before turning to the women, “He actually has been an amazing ally and an even greater friend.”


	25. Chapter 25: The Wait

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No excuse- just lazy. I'll work on that.

“We should look at the job board,” Inigo suggested while I tried to catch up on some reading.

“And what makes you say that?” I couldn’t help the sigh; he had already interrupted this very page fifteen times. There really was no point in even trying.

“I’m bored,” he whined, “And you are so bored, you’re reading!”

“I’m reading to keep from being bored,” I huffed before he jumped up and snatched my book, “Hey!”

“We haven’t done anything but drink and sleep since we got here,” he stubbornly kept the book out of my grasp.

“Correction: all _you_ have done is drink and sleep,” I frowned, continuing to try and get my book peacefully, “ _I_ have trained every morning, tried to read a chapter a day, and caught up on some down time.”

“You are truly boring, my friend,” he sighed at me, his arm lowering enough for me to snatch my book back.

“Fine,” I folded the edge of the page as I dropped it on the bed, turning back to him, “We’ll go look at the job postings.”

***

There were plenty of listings for hunting down bandits, or delivering goods, but the opportunity to travel with a couple of mercenaries to take down a troll was the most enticing. It didn’t take long to gather up our bags and head out with them; an orc woman and a dunmer mage. They were fine enough company but as always, Inigo was the most talkative.

He swapped stories with the orc, sharing battle scars, and singing loudly through the forest.

“Sometimes I wonder why I keep her around,” the mage hummed as he walked next to me, “How do you manage with yours?”

“I mostly block him out,” I couldn’t help the chuckle under my breath as I watched the two of them laugh at their own jokes, “How long have you two been working together?”

“Oh some three years now,” he shrugged his pack back into place on his shoulder, shaking his head at their antics, “I fear I’ve grown rather attached to her. You?”

“I travel with my Thane, and whomever she decides to bring along. Inigo joined us not long after she and I met, and that was not even a full year ago.”

“Your Thane?” he raised a long, thin brow at me, looking down his nose, but in a kinder way; simple curiosity, “And where is she?”

“She has recently married, so she is taking a moment away from the road.”

“Which Hold does her title come from?”

“Several, actually,” I smiled at his shock, “Most of Skyrim is her home. In fact, there are only a few Holds that have yet to give her a position in court. She is the Dragonborn after all.”

He stopped in his tracks but I did not bother to wait up, he can catch up once he regains his bearings.

“ _The_ Dragonborn? You accompany _her_?” he stumbled around his own feet as he made it back to my side, “Why would you ever leave her side? Even if she did nothing but eat bread all day, I would happily stand next to her as she does so.”

“I did not think it pleasant to sit outside her bedroom door,” I huffed, “Not on her wedding night, most of all.”

“Oh. Right.” The blush was hard to see on his ashy skin, but it was there none the less.

***

“These mercenaries are fun!” Inigo cheered as he sat beside me in front of the camp fire, “I wish we were able to convince them to stay with us.”

“Is my Thane not good enough company for you?” I hummed, leaning back into the log and closing my eyes.

“Of course she is but,” he sighed, picking at his nails while staring off into the fire.

“But what?” I peeked up at him.

“What if when she returns,” he growled softly, “She decides that more than two is a crowd?”

“Are you honestly worried about that?” I couldn’t help the glare I sent his way; this is our friend we’re talking about. She wouldn’t just leave us out to dry.

“I suppose,” he admitted it so quietly, his words were nearly lost in the crackle of the fire, “It is a silly worry, isn’t it?”

“A _very_ silly worry.”

***

“Don’t let it hit you!” the orc called out to her mage.

“Trust me, I’m not _letting_ it do anything!” he called back as he hid behind a rock for a moment’s respite.

The orc and I slash at the troll as Inigo fired arrow after arrow. Just when I thought we were winning, it pushed the orc away and managed to grab me, its meaty fingers dug into my arms while my feet lost contact with the ground. Once it brought me close enough, it roared into my face; I can still smell it’s rancid breathe when I think too much about it.

Just when I thought it was going to throw me against the ground or across the cave, Inigo was there, his blade slicing through its neck but not able to go further than to its jugular. The thing’s hand went lax against me, allowing me to get some distance as Inigo pulled his blade out of it.

“That was a close one,” the orc groaned, rubbing her back where she had impacted with the ground, “I was afraid you were a goner.”

“It will take more than one ugly troll to take my friend from me,” Inigo smiled broadly.

***

Once the mercenaries went their own way, Inigo wrapped me in a hug, nearly throwing the two of us off balance.

“Wha-?”

“I was- am afraid,” he whispered, his whiskers tickling my cheek, “Before you came to Riften, I spent my nights alone in that damn inn, bored and lonely. I missed our nights under the stars. I miss the sound of Serena’s snoring. I miss the annoyed look you give me while I sing. I miss Saphira’s quiet humming while cleaning her weapons. What if something happened to one of you?”

“Inigo, I’m fine, we’re all fine,” I tried to reassure him but it was hard when I was also trying to stay upright and his concerns were flying at me like arrows.

“It’s not just fear or missing them,” he sighed as he left my personal space, his ears pinned against his head, “I was alone in that cell for such a long time. I was waiting for the day I would stop breathing, yet she gave me another chance to live. And now, I want nothing more than to spend every day with them, and you; you are my friends. I don’t want to lose any of you. It’s a _need_ , to keep by your sides.”

“It is not just a silly worry,” he groaned before continuing, “I am truly afraid that one day, she will decide that she wants to do this alone; that she will not need us…that she will not need me.”

“That day may come,” I scratched the back of my head while trying to think of what I could do to ease his worries, “But I do not think it will be anytime soon. After all, we are her friends. It is in our destinies to be by her side.”


End file.
